Your Marketing Resistance is the Gateway to Authentic Expression Not An Obstacle to Overcome

INTRO: [00:00:00] After generating over a million dollars in sales and selling one of her businesses with a single email, your host Kathryn Thompson, takes an unconventional approach to marketing and sales. So if you are ready to tap into a more powerful way to be seen, heard, and a Sought after Entrepreneur in your industry without having to spend endless hours marketing your business and chasing clients, you are in the right place.

Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast is here to help you ditch the cookie cutter one size fits all approach to marketing, and use your unique energy to effortlessly attract the most aligned clients. When you do this, you can spend less time marketing your business and more time doing your soul work and enjoying the richness of your life.

Welcome to Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast, and here's your host, Kathryn Thompson. 

Kathryn Thompson: Hey, hey, super stoked that you're tuning this week's episode, and I cannot wait to dive in today's topic [00:01:00] because I wanna share with you a question a client of mine recently asked me, and that was, how do I rediscover or uncover my authentic voice, especially in.

This world that we're living in that has seems to have a rule book around how we need to communicate in business, how we need to send emails, what we need to say in those emails, and how we need to create content. So quote unquote, it gets as many eyeballs on it as possible. And is there actually a way to fully honor my authenticity in business?

Because a lot of the things that I'm seeing out there don't resonate with me the way in which we're told we need to communicate via email and social media. So is there. A real way that we can do this? Or do I just need to find a balance and are there gonna be parts of me that need to be compromised as a result?

And I wanna share with you the way in which I coached her through this, because I think it'll be really helpful, [00:02:00] especially if you're in a position right now where. Maybe you feel like your authentic voice has over time, somehow been diluted and or you feel like you've outgrown maybe the message that you're sharing and you want to evolve that and or maybe you are equally getting sort of.

I don't wanna say tired or bored with a lot of the content out there, and you're wanting to really showcase your unique perspective on how you view the world and how you view your business and the work that you do, then this is gonna be really helpful for you because I know the tension all too well between.

Needing to market and sell what it is that you sell while also trying to maintain what is authentically you. And there's a lot, if you've been in my world for a while, there's a lot of marketing and business [00:03:00] speak that I don't resonate with, and there's been many times where I've jostled back and forth between.

Do I have to do it this way or can I truly honor my authenticity and do it my way? And, and what will come from that? Right? And what I mean by that is I. Specifically in my world, right, where a lot of money claim big, tangible results, big guarantees are used to sell programs and services. Something that I really don't resonate with at all.

And I'm not saying that that is wrong, I'm just saying I don't resonate with that. It doesn't sit well with my soul. And so there's been times in my business where I felt like, well, I think I need to have this tangible result otherwise. What I sell and what I do won't quote unquote work. Right? And we can find ourselves compromising our [00:04:00] authenticity to make the business work.

And I wanna share with you how I walked my client through this to get to a place that she felt really good in honoring her authenticity. And in fact, if I'm being really honest about all of this. We are in an information era, right? We have been for a very long time, and I often say that we're in an advice giving era, meaning there is a piece of advice for everything and oftentimes there's 70 bazillion different pieces of advice, right?

Here are the five steps to lose weight. Here's the 10 steps. Actually, if you use keto, actually, if you count your macros, actually if you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? There's, there's advice for everything. And you're starting to see people come out with some really quite funny content. I, and maybe you've seen this, where people say, well, if you just eat a potato and stand on your head and wear a pink dress, then you will get what you want.

Right? You [00:05:00] can see people really challenging that sort of advice giving, because here's the thing, and this will tie back into authenticity. We're all different and. The more authentic we can be in our life, in our business, the more fulfilled we will be. Now, the challenge is, is that when someone's giving you a rule book for business, for marketing, for sales, what often happens is, is we take our authentic voice and we try to shove it through the rule book, hoping that when it comes out the other end.

That parts of ourselves are still there, right? In the message. We try very hard for many of us. Maybe there's people out there that don't, but we try very hard to keep that authenticity. And so it's, it's not surprising to me that many people ask me, because this is what I do, is how do I maintain that authenticity [00:06:00] and.

The first thing that I often do, not often, all the time when people come to me and they ask me, how do I find my authentic voice? Or how do I rediscover it, or. Can you look at what I'm writing? And since you know me so well, can you sense or feel where I might not be expressing myself in that authentic way?

And I think a natural tendency in this advice giving era is to give advice. Well, if you just follow my framework, it'll pull your voice out of you. If you just do this, this, this, and this. You will find your authentic voice. And I'm not saying that these frameworks on the advice doesn't work, but what I'm saying is I think we need more of a self-discovery stage in this before advice is given.

Because like I said, right, we're starting to see people come out, go, if you just eat the potato and stand on your head and wear a pink dress. Then you'll lose the weight or you'll have the dream business or you'll find your, [00:07:00] the love of your life, right? It's becoming kind of ridiculous because how can I give you advice?

How can I tell you how to find your voice if I don't fully understand? I. Where you might be struggling to find your voice in the first place, right? Or where there might be sticking points. So if there's not a self-discovery stage of this, then I'm just gonna give you a blanket statement of going, well just do this, this, this, and this, and you'll find your voice.

The problem with that is, is that that's what the majority of people that come into my world are struggling with. It's like trying to fit their message through a meat grinder, right? They're like trying to come, you know, fit it through there and then it comes out and it looks like this perfectly packaged and polished sausage, you know?

And it's like, but all of the quirks and all of the uniqueness and all of what makes me different isn't actually shining through here, and I don't know how to get my way back there. 99.9% of the people that I work with. Already know within them what [00:08:00] their authentic voice is, but they spent a lot of time listening to other people about what needs to happen and or they've tried so hard to shove that message through a meat grinder that it end up coming out not looking like them, and the more they try to make it look like them, but also try to make it work.

They lose more and more of themselves in it. And so the first step that I always do is ask the person back what feels like their natural expression. I. How, how does expressing themselves when they're with their friends or with their family, what is that natural expression that comes out so effortlessly without social media, without email?

Right now that's off the table. I don't even care how it's delivered. Right. Because I want to get to a sense of what is that natural way of expressing, and then what are the things are that you are not saying [00:09:00] because. You don't know how to say it, for it to fit into a beautifully packaged thing. And then what are your unique perspectives when it comes to life?

Business relationships. I often, I. Remove the business element and the marketing element and the outcome element out of the conversation. And the reason I remove the things like marketing, for example. Well, how do you wanna market? Or how many emails do you want to send or how do you want to send the emails?

The reason I remove that from the table, the reason I remove even the word marketing and sales and business and any of it. From the table in the initial stages of the business or the conversation is because when we remove that from the table, our true authenticity will start to come through. The reason our authenticity is getting capped or diluted [00:10:00] is because we have a perception around what marketing is and what sales is and how we're supposed to send emails, and how we're supposed to create content for social media.

So we have that in the back of our brain. And so when we ask the question, well, how do you want to naturally express yourself? Or how do you do this in your day to day? What weird quirks do you have? What weird ways do you look at the world? What are some of the things that people have pointed out about you that I.

They said, you are weird, or, oh, I've never thought of that before. Or, I love the way your brain works. Right? What are some of, when have you been doing that and who's been saying that to you and what has it been about? And the reason why I remove the marketing and all that off the table is 'cause that's when the authenticity starts to creep out, right?

Is when we're not thinking about, well, I, I talk like this and I share like this. And I want to teach people on this, and I wanna share my unique perspective on this, but [00:11:00] it doesn't fit into a reel, but it doesn't fit into a carousel. But I don't know how to send an email. I. Like that because the formatting right?

Our brain will naturally start to run the rule book through our brain and it'll go, but you can't do that and you can't do that. And you can't do that. 'cause this is a rule and this is a rule, and this is the rule, right? Even if we are rebels, and even if we are challenging status quo, like I said, I have jostled back and forth between that because I'm trained in marketing, right?

So I've been trained in it. So there's a lot of unlearning that has to happen, and there's a lot of finding my own way through it and a lot of self-reflection. So that's the first question I always ask is like, do you have a sense or a feeling about what your natural way is of expressing? And the example that I gave my particular client was, I'm somebody who loves to tell stories.

I love to have just natural conversations with people. The minute I'm [00:12:00] having a conversation with an outcome in mind. My natural expression gets really awkward because it feels really mechanical, and I know this so well about myself. And the reason I figured this out is because in my brick and mortar business, people would walk into the store and I would just have a conversation with them, and I would chat with them about their life.

How's life? You know, how's the weather out there? You know, it was sort of small talk to get to break the ice, but then. They would ask questions about the wine, and I would get really excited about the wine because I loved talking about wine. I loved exploring with the different tastes and the wine pairings, and I love to travel.

And so it felt like I was in a kitchen with a bunch of friends, enjoying good eats, good food, good times, good conversations. That's how my brick and mortar felt, and. When I stepped into the online business, like I've talked a lot about, [00:13:00] it was like I entered into a vortex. I was like, how do I have the same natural conversations as I did in my brick and mortar that I do in the online space when there feels to be.

Kind of a barrier, and you might relate with this very much because my conversation style was just natural conversation, sharing excitement, and then the excitement I had about things and the excitement I had about having a conversation with them. I. They would end up buying wine from me and then when they would come to bottle, they would often end up buying more wine from me because we'd spend half an hour bottling their wine, talking about life.

I remember having people say, you know, how much do I owe you for the therapy session? Because they would often joke that the time they would come to bottle was like a therapy session. 'cause if they were struggling with something in life or they were navigating a difficult situation, I'd often like. Chat them through it, so then at the end of it, they'd be like, Hey, I need to buy some more wine, blah, blah, blah, and how much do I pay you for the therapy?

They'd kind [00:14:00] of always joke about and whatnot, and I often would say that I was like the new hairdresser, right? Oftentimes when you go to a hairdresser, you can sit there and just blab for an hour, two hours, or however long your appointment is. You're sharing about life and they probably maybe know you more than some other people in your life and and whatnot.

And so I used to joke about that. And so when I started to do my self-reflection, I started to realize my natural way of expressing is just genuine connection and conversation. And when I entered the online space. It felt like that didn't exist. And to be honest with you, it still doesn't feel like it exists, right?

It feels very outcome driven. Like, I'm gonna have a conversation with someone in the DMS that's gonna lead to a sale. Like that's the end goal, right? If you, you gotta move them through these three points to get them on a call and then sell them, right? Which feels very mechanical for me. And anytime a conversation feels mechanical, I get very awkward and I have no clue.

How [00:15:00] to navigate it like I am just like a fish outta water. Literally. I feel so awkward, and then I start saying awkward things because I don't know how to navigate a very mechanical conversation, which is why my sales calls, I can't follow a script, right? I can't follow this like, you ought do this, this, this, and this.

It has to be a very natural conversation, which is why. I always thought it would be very difficult to replicate me in a sales call until I found my amazing sales call woman who also genuinely loves to have conversations with people and loves to support people in making a decision one way or the other without it being this sort of mechanical, weird conversation that ends up happening.

Like, what are your pain points? What are you struggling with? That all feels very. Like mechanical, it's, it's just, it's weird conversation to me. Right. My natural expression is conversation, storytelling, and being able to [00:16:00] deeply connect with people. And so you can see in a marketing world, in a sales world, that feels very transactional in my opinion.

It's hard to then have that authentic expression come through when you're trying to then fit it into a mold that's leading people, quote unquote, to a sale. Right? So my particular client, that's the example I gave. I said I'm very conversational. Like, do you have a sense what, what you are? Like what, where do you thrive when it comes to creating connection?

You know, being excited about your work. And she said to me, I love to teach educational content. I love to take complex topics and make them practical and grounded so that people can like integrate them into their life. And what's crazy about this is there's lots of people out there that are like, stop doing educational content.

Stop doing value-based content. It's not gonna get you people buying from you. Like you see those messages. This is the advice giving era, and I call [00:17:00] bullshit on that. And the reason I call bullshit on that is because we are all unique. And the problem with statements like that, when you don't actually understand the nuance of human beings and your blanket stating This works and this works and this doesn't work, is that.

People take that in and they go, oh, well I guess I like value content. Educational content is just like, it's not gonna convert people. And so I have to do it this way, right? And then, well, this authentic expression isn't me. What's crazy about all of this? I said, well then this is what we need to lean into.

Tell me more about the educational content, the value-based content, like how do you want that to be? And she goes, I also want. My aesthetic to look really nice and really beautiful and kind of simple and not like flashy in your face. And I'm like, tell me more about that. This is how we get the authentic expression out.

Right? Tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me more. Because usually that first layer that comes out, [00:18:00] like I like to do educational content. Cool. Tell me more about that. What do you see as that? And we're not even talking again about how that's gonna fit on a carousel or how it's gonna fit in an email. It doesn't matter.

And then the minute she started to tell me more about the educational content and the uniqueness of how she would teach educational content. I was like, that's it. That is your authentic voice. And when you actually look at it and then look at all of the information on the internet, there's nobody teaching it like she is.

There's nobody providing that depth and that nuance into her expertise. Like anybody else that I've seen on the internet, and I'm like, that's your golden spot right there is the way in which you teach it. So educational content feels very sort of like surface level, right? And if we hear the message, educational content's never gonna get anyone to buy.

It's just gonna keep you in the friend zone. Then you might write that off, but tell me more about what your vision is and [00:19:00] what's wild about this is. Then I said, do you mind sending me your human design chart? I just wanna take a look to see like what's coming through on that human design chart. And what's crazy about it is she has a defined ajna with a channel from her Ajna to her throat and and a defined throat center.

What's wild and crazy about this is the channel that she has is quite literally. Taking complex topics, scientific, spiritual, whatever it is, and translating that into very practical, grounded education explanation for people to help them transform their life in the way that she supports them. Why this is so wild is, is because I don't have a defined ajna.

And I've always said, I don't really want to teach content in that way, the way that she wants to teach it. I don't want to do that. That does not resonate with me. Right. And anytime that I've had to try [00:20:00] to fit myself into a educational content, like creating PowerPoints and whatnot, right? I have struggled to some degree.

And the reason I have struggled is because I'm trying to take. What's in my head and in my ajna, which is undefined in human design. And I'm trying to filter that into tactical, practical advice for people when that is not my natural way of expressing. My natural way of expressing is through connection and through storytelling.

And that is very prominent in my chart and. When I look at these things and I confirm it, I'm like, no wonder, right? What's also really wild about it is, is that the minute we kind of got to the root of how she wanted to do it and how she wanted to make it look and feel and all the things, and I'm saying this very honestly, the way in which she's doing this, like the minute she said to me that she wanted to share her content in this way, [00:21:00] and she told me a topic, I'm like, tell me more about that topic.

Because it was all around how the brain works when it comes to fear and intuition, and I was like, no one's talking about it like that. Nobody, but she has a unique perspective on it, but she's also designed and wired to communicate in this way, and we all do this, right? We all look at other people, we see what they've done, and sometimes we try to emulate or imitate because we're like, Ooh, I like that and I like that, and I like that as an undefined G Center.

We like lots of things, right? Which can be very difficult for us to focus sometimes, but the problem with that is, is if we don't know why we like it, we can emulate a voice that isn't ours. And if you've followed Rick Rubin's work at all. He works with musicians predominantly, and the biggest thing he does with them is to help them find their voice.

And his process is actually about stripping away what isn't necessary. Stripping away what? They might've [00:22:00] layered over their voice because they thought they need to have that. Piece of production in there in order for it to work, to sell, to monetize, whatever it might be. And he works very diligently with people about stripping.

And one of the things he says he does is that he listens. He spends, the first huge part of working with people is just listening to them. And that for me is the first stage with my client. I just listen. Tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me more till we start to unravel and there's more and more and more comes out.

It's kind of like journaling, right? When you're sitting there, journaling. About what you want and what you desire and all the things, or whatever it might be. That first sentence of journaling might be like bullet points, and then all of a sudden the pen just starts to go and you're like, holy shit, this is all coming out of me.

That is how you find your authentic voice. That is how you uncover it. And to me, I don't even like the word find, because to me, your authentic voice is already within you. The issue is [00:23:00] for all of us, we all, all experiencing this. There's nobody that has this, I would say perfectly figured out, is that we've layered stuff over top of our authenticity because we thought we needed that layer for whatever reason.

Protection. For things to work, things to be seen, whatever it might be. We were maybe aligning with a trend that's out there with reels or whatever it is that we layered all of this gunk over top life stuff, whatever it might be. And now it's about unraveling and uncovering and there is no shame in this journey.

And I think that's the other thing I want to kind of. Bring forward is because I know as someone who's very, you know, operates very much in integrity, there can be a lot of shame when we start to unpack it on layer parts of our voice we're like, Ooh, that's not me. How did I, how did I start talking like that?

Or how did I start doing that? Right. There can be [00:24:00] shame that comes because we think were we lying to people? I don't wanna lie to people. I don't wanna be fake. Right? And so I just wanna highlight that piece of it, that we need to accept that part of the journey because if you are in integrity and you are striving for authenticity, which in my opinion right now.

Is so important, especially because we are in this information era and this advice giving era that the five steps to blah, blah, blah, or the how tos, those are a dime a dozen. Everybody's saying it. This is the layer you want to get to in authenticity is one. Like, how are you here to naturally express?

Some of us are more, um, natural at just riffing, just talking to camera, right? Just voicing it out via voice. It's easier for us to just communicate vocally than it is to try to type and write and then we sit there [00:25:00] for hours, reedit, and all the things, right? So. Honor that, that authenticity for sure. And then some of us are really designed to like have two-way conversations that when we are sitting in our own energy and we're trying to come up with what to say and how to say it and when to say it, and all the things that we're actually not designed to be in that.

Right. I have a wide open head center. I've shared this before, and anyone with a wide open headset setter to have like a two-way conversation with somebody is really valuable when somebody can ask you questions. Right? And that's what I was saying about my client is that like she can take these concepts right and she can translate them.

So PowerPoint presentations, those sorts of things like she'll thrive in, she'll thrive for me. I love to engage with people. Ask me a question and I'll answer it for you. Right. That's the style of teaching I like because for me, I could teach [00:26:00] on many topics, but I don't like to just talk to a crowd of people.

I want to engage with a crowd of people and not me coming with some advice that I'm giving or whatnot. With a wide open aana, oftentimes the shadow of that is. Feeling like we have to have everything figured out. In reality, we don't. And so we don't have the certainty, but we're told in this expert authority era that we need to have the certainty in everything that we're doing in order to be credible, in order to be seen as an authority.

And in reality, that's part of the shadow of the, I have a wide open AANA and wide open head center, and so I'm really not here to like have everything figured out in a lot of ways. And I don't want to, but I also don't want to teach from that perspective. And so when I think about engagement with a crowd, even, even when I think about speakers, right?

Like good speakers will engage a crowd, but they're still up there on a [00:27:00] stage on the pedestal coming with some. Authority or guru perspective. And again, there's nothing wrong with that. That's their natural way of expressing. For me, the natural way of expressing would be sitting on the ground with a group of people on the same bloody fricking level as them, not on this stage, right, where they're above a crowd, where the crowd's looking up to the like, no, I don't want that.

I would rather be in a group, intimate group with people where I can sit face to face and look them in the eyes. There is no hierarchy. There is no separation. There is no arm's length. We're just having a conversation. You can ask me whatever you want, and I will provide you with. Insight and I will provide you with thought provoking questions so that you can discover who you are better.

You can see yourself differently. That's the work I do around finding your authentic voice and uncovering that message that's here to shine. It isn't about following a framework. It isn't about me telling [00:28:00] you this methodology and here are the five steps to. You know, million dollar messaging or whatever it is.

It's not about that. Because if it was, then all I'm doing is creating factory level marketing in my opinion. Because what ends up happening is, is we're just. Putting people through a production line of following the methodology. And unless we're willing to do this listening work that Rick Rubin does, in my opinion, right?

Unless we're willing to really listen to people and hear what they're saying, it'll be very difficult for them to discover their own authenticity. Because to me, discovering our authenticity is about mirroring back to the person what they already know to be true within themselves. So the first step of this was me just.

Doing an exploratory uncovering of her own truth and asking the right questions to get there. And then from there we could create a plan that actually worked right for social media, [00:29:00] for email. And that's where I think we, we flip the script often. We start with how many emails do I need to send? How many posts do I need to post a week?

When in reality we need to start from that front end because that's gonna inform the strategy. That's gonna inform the plan. And the key part of this was not just coming up with a bunch of messaging topics that she could talk about, right? It was about. Uncovering the truth of who she is at the core of who she is, and then pulling out those fricking nuggets of gold around how she communicates the topic, right?

Because it's that unique perspective. It's that difference of how she says it is what really, really. Slices through this information that's rampant on the internet and this advice giving that's rampant on this internet because it's so different, right? It's just such a different perspective and a different way of looking at things, and it's said in [00:30:00] such a different way and only in the way that she can say it.

Right. And so that is what we uncovered. And from that perspective, then that informs everything else. The other beautiful thing about this is we are working with a mentor or a coach when they know that I. They will know very quickly when you're trying to shove your messaging through a box, meat cutter, whatever it is, and where you're diluting yourself.

Wait a minute, like that's not you. That that piece of content is not you. Right? They can start to reflect that back to you. And that to me is the path to discovering your authenticity. It is not through a five step framework or a, you know, some proprietary methodology around messaging. It's absolutely not.

Um, that to me just produces more factory level marketing, which to me is just more generic. Same, same. Right. And [00:31:00] if. You want to be different, like truly honor your authenticity and the difference that you're here to make. We have to uncover what that authenticity is, what your voice, your natural way of being, that natural expression that is unfiltered.

Completely detached from marketing, sales, and business. And then from there we can take that expression and share that in a way that's natural to you. Um, and if that isn't writing long form emails, it's not writing long form emails. If that is. Doing a video email instead of a written one or whatever you want to do, right.

May maybe you're just doing a YouTube video and that gets linked to an email and it's like, go watch the video. You know? I mean, you can do it however you want. And I think that's the other key piece that I wanna, I. Really sort of share here is that when we are working in existing within the mold, [00:32:00] right, this is how marketing is and this is how sales is, this is how I attract clients.

This is the way I can go viral on Insta and TikTok or whatever. When we're starting with the rule book, I. First, then we will naturally dilute our authenticity because the rule book is cookie cutter. It's one size. But when we can change our perspective and change even the environment in which we are even thinking about communicating, and what I mean by changing the environment is not even talking about it from a perspective of marketing.

So, so asking the questions to yourself or having a family member ask or have a coach or a mentor. Again, this is probably one of my zones of genius, is really getting to the root to uncover. That's that Scorpio rising in me. Like I can go deep and I can excavate the truth of who people are, and I can spot [00:33:00] very quickly where there's people hiding, right where we're hiding.

And then I'm also very honest. About, well, this doesn't quite feel like you like what I'm getting or where, what were you thinking when you wrote this? Right. I will, I will challenge that in a very loving and compassionate way because I'm not doing anybody any service if I don't do that. And nine times out of 10 people will come to me and say.

I already knew this and this is how I wanted to start my business from the first place, or this is how I wanted to start expressing. But I was trying to, you know, fit the algorithm or I was trying to get engagement or I was, you know, be operating through validation. I started to post the way I posted in my weird, quirky way, and it didn't take off right away.

And so then I started to like. Look outside of myself and learn how to grow on social media, and I just followed this protocol and before you knew it, [00:34:00] my authenticity has been totally stripped out of me in a lot of ways, and I don't feel fulfilled in creating content. And that's a big thing if you're feeling burnt out by creating content.

That's a question to ask yourself. What is this telling me about what I really value? This is a huge question. What do you value? And that's a question I ask my client. What do you value? Tell me what you value about the work that you do. Tell me about why that matters to you. And tell me more. Tell me more, right?

Because when we can get to the crux of why, what are frustrations, what are resistance, where we're feeling. Discontent. We can get to the root of that and ask, what, what is this telling me? But what, what matters to me in my life? That's your authenticity speaking, right? And I know many people out there want to tell you, oh, just suck it up and push through.

It's resistance. That's just your ego getting in the way. You're self sabotaging, you're procrastinating. And maybe in some cases, yes you are. Maybe in some [00:35:00] cases you are. However, I know for a fact when I get frustrated, triggered, or I feel any resistance and I, my inner child is starting to throw a bit of a tantrum, and that's how I equate it to, I'm like, oh, my inner child's coming out.

Just being like, I don't wanna do this. Don't make me, you know, it's, it's, rather than sit in that resistance and throw the tantrum, right, it's going Okay, tell me about. What's happening here? Why am I feeling that resistance? And that is where authenticity will often lie, right? For me, when I ever felt burnt out with content, the first time I felt burnt out with content, it was because of the way in which I was expressing myself 100%, right?

It was very salesy. It was very like, if you want this and this and this and this, then dm me the word blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All felt very mechanical and I can't remember if I shared that story with you. But I had a psychic tell me, stop selling in your social media. And I was like, what? [00:36:00] And she's like, stop selling in your social media.

I. And I was like, but everybody says you need to sell on every post and sell on every story. And I was buying into that rhetoric. Right? Even though I think at that point I was starting to feel the frustration also, nothing was moving. Let's be honest. I think this is the other big lesson and takeaway when we aren't in our authenticity.

When we aren't speaking truthfully and genuinely, and when we are masking parts of ourselves, or we're trying to fit that authenticity or fit that desire into the script, let's just say things won't pan out. They just won't. It'll feel so hard. And that's how it felt for 12 months, right? It was like CTA and every bloody post.

C-T-A-C-T-A-C-T-A. That's what you do. And no, it is not my natural way of expressing, honestly. I think. In, in my business and especially in the brick and mortar, like I never asked for the sale. There was no CTA, [00:37:00] there was nothing. Right. It was like, this is what we have. If you want it, you can have it. Let me know.

That was essentially how we sold it. Right. And for me, the coaching space and what brings me resistance in my content and in marketing and all of it, is that it just feels like. We're trying to convince people, and I know lots of people will say, why don't do the convincing if you are using marketing language and speak, which is like if you are struggling with X, Y, and Z and you're using story, whatever it is, and you're leading somebody to, for them to see why they're struggling with what they're struggling with.

You're convincing them. That is convincing to me when I say there's no convincing. It's like this is my offer. This is what's included. This is the price point. If this seems appealing to you, reach out. That to me is like the non psychological approach to marketing and sales. Right. That to me is my authenticity.

[00:38:00] But I've seen lots of people say, I don't do convincing in my marketing, and then I look at their marketing and I'm like. But you're speaking to the pain point or you're speaking to the benefit or desire of what somebody wants. You're sharing why they're where they're at. You're sharing why what you do matters.

You're sharing why, why you're different. And then you're asking them if they're ready to da, da, da, then buy. That to me is psychological. They's so much psychological con like. Language in that type of rhetoric, which is convincing. That's how I look at it, right? And to me, that often feels not a hundred percent authentic for me, and that's where I think I can struggle and Joss light back and forth.

And so I wanted to share this question with you because I feel like it's a doorway into. Supporting you in even uncovering even more of that truth, but then also loving yourself through that process. Because as I said, there are still things in [00:39:00] my world where I'm like, oh, this doesn't really feel authentic anymore.

Or maybe I've outgrown it and I'm working through that in my own process and. There can be shame that can easily come in or guilt that comes in, especially when integrity is a big value of yours, because it's like, well, I don't wanna be fake, or I don't want to come across like I'm not being authentic.

Right? But to me, authenticity is a process and a journey because we all have different life stories and we all have different traumas, or we all have different things that. We've layered and masked for a reason, and it's often for protection in a lot of ways and or it's often because we're trying to do it right and get it right because we desire something so deeply, and that is where we have to sort of love ourselves through the process because it's never about.

Thinking, oh my gosh, I'm not being authentic and so therefore I'm not a good person and I'm lying, and all of that. Like that's that shame spiral that you [00:40:00] can easily go into. And so when you're doing this truth uncovering and continue to shed the layers and strip back and really step into that authenticity.

Just know that the, the shame piece can come alongside it and just to love and accept that piece of it and work through that, not to go down that shame spiral. 'cause that will just create more and rec ha more havoc for you. And so that is how I coach my client through it. And you might be thinking after listening to this, that doesn't sound very revolutionary.

There isn't any sort of revolutionary proprietary methodology and five step process and do this and do this. And here's what I know to be true, uh, for myself, is that oftentimes some of the biggest breakthroughs and ahas don't come in these loud, big, boisterous moments of claiming that I can help you [00:41:00] do this thing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Right? They come in sort of this very instant, but. Simple sort of way. That's the best way that I can describe it. It's a question, it's a statement. It's a way of looking at yourself differently. It's a way of looking at the way in which you look at things differently. It's reframing the situation or environment in which you're looking through, right?

It's why I take marketing and sales and business off the table, especially when we're talking about authenticity and finding your authentic voice because. We all have conditioning around what we believe marketing to be, what we believe sales to be, what we believe we need to do in order to run the business.

And so I. When we have that and we're trying to be authentic and we're looking at marketing and sales and business and going, but my authenticity's like over here, and I don't know how I fit over here [00:42:00] because my authenticity doesn't fit this, you know. We're trying to fit ourselves into the, into the mold.

And so I take that completely off the table is the first step. And oftentimes when I take those off the table and I say, forget about the emails, forget about social media. I don't care how it fits into a cursor or reel, it's not even important right now. And that's where I say the Rick Rubin thing, right?

He takes away what's not necessary, and that's what I'm saying, take away what's not necessary. It's not necessary right now to think about how it fits. Let's just get to the root of what is true to you and truly your authenticity. And then when we get there, then we can talk about how to make that come to reality.

And by the time we get to the root of it, through just questioning and listening, questioning and listening and breaking patterns, like pattern interrupting, right? When, when our brain wants to go, but, and it's like, no, let's shift. Course, right. Let's, we're, we're shifting that. We're [00:43:00] changing the environment of the way in which you're thinking right now, and, and that is how I work with people so that when we get to the root of the authenticity, then it almost feels like anything is possible because then all of a sudden the ideas come through of like, Ooh, I could say it this way, or I could create this, or I could create that and.

Then all of a sudden, all of the worries about how many emails do I have to send and how many posts do I have to make are off the fricking table? Completely off the table because. It doesn't even matter anymore. It doesn't matter when your language and what you put out into the world is potent. I think again, this is such a misconception and I'm hoping we're starting to see the, the tide shift here.

Such a misconception. When something is so potent, you don't have to say it a bazillion times. This is why mass marketing and mass production, the quality of that is often shit. Quality work is not mass [00:44:00] produced. It's not 15 emails sent out. It's not, you know, a bazillion post. It's not three posts a fricking day.

To me, that's not quality. That's mass production and oftentimes it's not great quality if you want to do quality work and create quality content. Less is more. And I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna put a stake on a mountain and die on that one. It's less is more. Think about that, right? If someone's doing a really beautiful artisan couch, leather couch or something, I don't know.

Or throw blanket, right? They're not producing 70,000 of them in a day. They're doing one in a month, right? My pottery, my Japanese lantern. It's not like I went in and did 50 of the Japanese lanterns in a month. It took me three months to build that thing. I, and it's still not done. That's what I'm talking about.

[00:45:00] Quality work takes time, takes mastery, and it's not something that's mass produced. And so if you want to create quality content and quality work, then we've gotta step off the mass production timeline. And that is probably the hardest thing for somebody to do, and I 100% am living that right now. 'cause my whole point for me is more quality over quantity, less is more.

That's, that is what I'm stepping into right now and I'm looking at. The model going, but it's, it's asking for mass production, and I'm going, I'm fighting that, and that is gonna be my journey over the next year or two years or, or longer, however, longer, long it takes me to sort of really fully step into that.

Um, is that it? I'm, I'm not, I'm not buying into the mass production anymore. I want quality, genuine conversations with people. I want to create quality work. I [00:46:00] want quality, quality, quality. And to me that's less is more. Um, we are inundated with information and like I said, it's a dime a dozen at this point.

And so what really gets my attention and, and I think is gonna start to get more and more people's attention is when I can see myself differently. You've shifted my perspective or you said something in a way that I've never heard it said That is what? Pulls me in instantly. And if that is what you are craving in your business, then I really hope that this episode has, um, provided some insight to you on how to kind of excavate that truth.

And then sit with those points of resistance and ask yourself, what is that telling me about my authenticity? Right? And then where am I preventing myself from really, truly stepping into that authenticity because the world or the model is showing me something very different. And the, and it can be very noisy, right?

It can be very noisy when the message over and over and over again is how much we have to [00:47:00] show up and how much we have to remind people and how much we have to send emails and all of the things. And I'm running outta breath just saying that right? Is, is I'm craving, I'm craving real true. Artistic expression, authentic expression, and to me, that's not mass produced.

And in a world where we've got things like AI now that can create content at rapid fricking speeds. To me, and this is just my perspective, is that. We, we are gonna start to really crave that more and more as, as a a human nation, we're gonna want, we're starving for depth. I think, and I said that in a post on social media recently, like we're, we're starving for depth.

People want that deep. Depth that connection and, and, and not just connection with the other, but deeper connection to themselves. They want to be able to see themselves differently, and they want to be seen for that difference. They want to be understood for [00:48:00] that difference. And so I just wanted to share with you the process I took her through and it wasn't anything revolutionary, but it was something so, so powerful to support her in.

Creating the conditions, I feel. And what I do is, is help create the conditions so that your most authentic, beautiful, meaningful work can emerge. 'cause to me it's an emergence out of you. Right. I'm, I'm not here to tell you how to do it. I'm not here to tell you what your voice is. I'm not here to give you some framework and methodology to follow, to uncover what that even looks like.

Um, because to me, again, that's just. A mass produced, um, sort of approach there. So with that, I hope this episode has been fruitful for you, and I would love to hear from you if you resonated with this or if you had an aha or if you go away and start to uncover and ask yourself some of those questions.

Um, and, and grab that journal and just start to write, [00:49:00] right? Like, what is my natural expression? What don't I like about blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Where are is my resistance? Like. Is there more? Is there more? Just keep asking yourself those questions. Journaling is a really great way to do that because it just, the pen just starts to flow and if you don't wanna write with a pen, you can voice note it, right?

And you can document it that way, is a beautiful way to do that. So with that, I hope you have a fab day. Cheers. 

INTRO: Thanks for listening. We'll see you right back here next time. You can also find us on social media at creatively owned and online@creativelyowned.com. Until next time, keep showing up as your authentic self.