How to Stand in Your Personal Power with Jen Szpigiel

INTRO:

Hey hey, Kathryn here! I’m so glad you’re tuning in. If you’re new to the show, welcome. I’m so glad you’re here. If you’ve been around for a bit, you know I’m all about keeping it real with you. Showing you all the sides of entrepreneurship (& life). I mean it’s all connected, right? 

And it’s my pleasure to have Jen Szpigie on the show today to share with you how to stand in your power as a business owner so that you can revel in the pleasure and joy of it. She’s the founder of Becoming Iconic and the host of Becoming Iconic the Master Class Podcast. And she’s on a mission to give women the permission to do all the things and be courageous enough to go after that.

Now let’s dive into the good stuff for today. 

So without further ado let’s welcome Jen to the show!

Kathryn Thompson  00:05

Hey, hey, I am super stoked to have Jen on the show today to talk all things anchoring into your personal power really owning that personal power. So without further ado, I'm just going to turn it right over to you, Jen. And so you can share with our listeners who you are, what you do and who you serve.

Jen Szpigiel 00:21

Yeah, thanks. I'm so grateful to be here. And I'm so excited to have this conversation. Because this is something I believe a lot of FEM printers, if we can call it that are really sort of investigating, getting curious around and also feeling really excited for. So I am an entrepreneur, and I've been building businesses and building babies for 16 years. So you know, I've been doing this a long time. I'm a mom of four, I have multiple businesses and a podcast as well. And so my journey has really been in life coaching and business coaching, for sure. I'm a certified life coach. But what that has led to is this leadership, passion of mine, because what I'm seeing in the online space, and because I've been around for a long time, is a lot of people are teaching the tactical pieces of how to build a business, which I appreciate. And you actually do so well. So just want to edify you and honor you, you do a great job. You really do. And now can we marry that with these leadership skills, this embodiment, this way of being in our business? And when we tie these two things together? That's that secret sauce that, you know, how is she and not me that personal power, you actually feel it? Because you have so much responsibility for how you move through your life in business?

Kathryn Thompson  01:43

Yeah, I absolutely love that. Because, you know, it's one of the reasons why I started this podcast having been around and in the mercury communication space for 20 years, having multiple businesses to and whatnot, and really seeing that need of like, becoming or being, how are you showing up? How are you being in this online space, offline space, whatever it is, and so much of that is your personal power? Like, how much are we giving that away? How much are we, you know, really centering and grounding that and so, tell us a little bit about the businesses that you do have? Because I'm always intrigued when someone says I have multiple businesses, I'm like, Ooh, you're my kind of person because I am such a multi-passionate, and

Jen Szpigiel 02:27

I read to you and isn't that the truest essence of an entrepreneur? I mean, are we not constantly like squirrel? And that's just what we do. And I always say, when somebody feels that that is something that works against them. I always think well, it potentially could if you are constantly distracted, but it is really that knowing of I'm meant to do my own thing, because I have so much creativity and ideas. So I do have still a huge network marketing business. I was on the top 1% in network marketing, I built that for the longest time as I was building babies. And I still have that passive income, which I'm very grateful for. And in 2020 I made a massive pivot into personal my own personal brand of becoming iconic. So becoming iconic was given to me. There's just no other way to explain it. And I know that sounds like a lot of people are saying that but this is the honest to God truth. I never used the word iconic. I wasn't even thinking about the word becoming. And those two things kept popping up popping up. And eventually I really fell into the in love with becoming and iconic. And iconic made me so uncomfortable. This kind of fits into the personal power piece because I thought Who am I to say the word iconic? Yeah, I've had major success in the social selling industry. But that you know, and and my motherhood, I really pride myself in what I do with my children. But is that worth saying I might Connick and the trigger and that was the very thing I leaned into. Because I thought why not? Why can't a stay at home mom feel iconic as a stay at home mom like she is ruffling her tail feathers thinking yeah, I'm great at this. And I'm doing an exceptional job raising these kids the same way you and I would building these businesses. And it's like, how do you show up? How do you make people feel around you? And then the realization that that's always becoming? Yeah, right, even an icon, even Beyonce is constantly reinventing herself refining what she does, trying new things. So it's not this destination it's becoming. And the word iconic to me means that we take big intention to her showing up as big and bold and audacious as we possibly can every single day. And so I leaned into this personal brand and it took off. Yeah, it was incredible. And that's why for me, I really do believe it was gifted to me I was feeling the stir in my belly to do something different for a very long time but was very cool. comfortable in my success? And to add something else on those things of like, Can I hold it? Will I be able to do all these things and do them all? Well, that was really nerve-racking for me. And what I got to see was my capacity. So I quickly launched to becoming iconic the masterclass it was just called the podcast after that in March and the COVID pandemic hit. So everything happened at once. It was like, this perfect storm, but I'm so glad I did. Because most people during that pandemic started to question look at, think about other things in their lives other than what they were doing, I think we were kind of forced to stare in the mirror. And, you know, being someone who had a great reputation in entrepreneurship, I did have a lot of people come forward and say, Hey, I think I'm interested in doing something more.

Kathryn Thompson  05:48

Yeah. And I love Yeah, I mean, there's so many angles here that I want to take with you. Because I think the whole gifted thing, right? Like you said, lots of people online are saying like that just like sort of like fell on my lap or was gifted or whatever. What made you trust the gift? Because I think a lot of people are like, they get these ideas, or they get these nudges or these polls. But they don't trust the poll, because they're like, well, like you said, you know, you have this really other successful business. You're a mom of four right is like, like, do I want to take on this other thing? Like, what, what made you trust that poll?

Jen Szpigiel 06:22

I just want to say that is a really great question. Thank you. I really, I think that's a very valuable question. Because there are a lot of people who are listening in who can think like, oh, I don't know if I've been gifted anything, or I don't know, if I have that intuition. And we all do, it's how tapped in we are, we all do. And so for me, there's two answers to this. And I think both are really important. The first one is, it was a hum for a very long time. So it was more of a whisper. And what I realized is I'm a little bit stubborn. So I don't hear the whispers as often as I should or hear them and I am very, you know, relaxed with the whisper, we don't act all the time, it's usually brick in the head moments that get my attention. But I this time that the hum started to increase, the volume was turned up, and I knew that I couldn't deny it. So that's my first answer to that is if the hum doesn't go away, if it's still whispering, and it's still there, there's a reason behind that, and just have some time and contemplation with it. The second piece is, I was born with big trust in myself, I have really big trust in myself. And a lot of that is because I follow through on the things I say I'm going to do, and always have. But when I'm given something, my trust then lies in me. And that's where I can really lean in because I really do feel like I can create something here i I've witnessed myself and my worst-case scenario is it doesn't work. But it leads me down the path to something else greater. And I have deep, deep trust in that.

Kathryn Thompson  07:57

I love that answer. Because I was recently asked on a podcast like how did you develop your own self belief within yourself and trust? And you said you were you know, you were born with it? Because I also didn't know how to really answer that question. Because I feel like I was just like innately born with this, like trust or ability to like, set out to do something and just go and do it. You know, it doesn't mean that I don't have self doubt and things that come up and all those things that we are human. But it's that like innate self trust that whatever it is that you're going to set out to do. That's the thing that you're doing. The other piece of this I want to dive into is the whole thing around COVID. And what and obviously what happened, you were about to launch this or you were launching this like iconic brand. And the world sort of shut down. And I think you could have gone one in two ways, right? I've talked to people that are like, I just put things on pause or hold. I know, I was launching two big things at the time. right around that time, too. And I just carried on and had some of the most successful launches I've had. And so what made you carry on and not go okay, this isn't the right timing. This is a big sign from the universe that maybe I shouldn't do this right now.

Jen Szpigiel 09:12

Aren't we quick to say this is a big sign of the universe when it's something that excuses us and that Yeah, interesting. And then when we have the hum the whisper of like, hey, hey, I think you should do this. That we don't like lean into that trust. Like we'll trust the excuse more than we'll trust the nudge. It's so interesting. We are complex. Dancer, your question is leadership. And it's my jam. This is what I like to talk about. When I say publicly I'm going to do something it doesn't mean it has to be perfect and I to have moments where I am not in confident where I'm not in my personal power women doubt and worry and all the things so personal power and leadership and trust doesn't mean you're always feeling confident and ready to go. You just go. And for me, I've always felt in leadership, the biggest component to that is leading myself. And if I were watching somebody launch something who I was curious around, thinking, ooh, I think I would like to be in a relationship with that person. And I watched her come back on her goal or, or take a step back. Not that there's anything wrong with that if it's for the right reasons. But I think that would break my trust a little bit like, oh, wait, she's not really all in. Oh, wait, she's negotiating on her this launch? So if she's not sure, I'm certainly not going to be sure. And I just feel like we have opportunities all the time to be the evidence of what is possible. And it is definitely harder to follow through it is easier, in some ways. Actually, I take that back. It's not always harder. It's easier to sit back and wait, the hard and that is always the wonder like, what if? What if I had done this? And that gets me? Yeah, the what-if question gets me, I don't want to be like, what if I had tried that? What if I had done that? That to me is torture? Yeah, I would rather be like, what if it works? What if someone you know, is interested? What if this takes me down my next path? Like I feel that question can really work for us or against us. But the, to me the constant wonder of like, what would have happened if I tried? That, to me feels harder than actually just following through and doing

Kathryn Thompson  11:31

it? Yeah. And I think you're so right there. When you say like, we we put so much in the excuse, right? It's, it can be easy for us to hold on to that excuse of like, oh, this is happening, or this is happening? Maybe it isn't the right time, or maybe I shouldn't do it or, or whatnot. And I remember sitting there was my launch integrator, and she's like, you're actually going through with this. I'm like, Well, yeah, like none of us had gone through a global pandemic. I didn't know what was gonna happen on the other end of that. I didn't know, you know, everyone's like, well, people aren't gonna have money, or they're gonna be worried. And there was all of this hype being made. And I was like, we actually don't know that. Like, we truly don't, we're just making a prediction on it. And so I trusted my innate gut and went ahead with it, even though I had people saying, hey, you know, maybe we should pause or reschedule. I was like, There's no way I'm rescheduling? I'm going through with it. So yeah, so I love that, you know, you carried on as well and brought this to life. So I want to talk a little bit about leadership because I think that I'm super passionate about leadership and like really standing in in your power. And I've observed in the online space, like you said, there's lots of tactics and things being taught. But there's like a leadership component. And I came from corporate. So, you know, developing leaders in a corporation were something like that. We did you know, but I don't know that there's a lot of that being done in the online space. And so what does a good leader? In your opinion, what are the traits or personality? Or what do they bring to the world? What would good leaders do?

Jen Szpigiel 13:13

So want to maybe go back for a second as to why maybe we're not speaking about this, or really diving deep into leadership? And I believe it's because we're, we're rejecting the masculine hustle culture that so many of us were participating in. Yeah. So when we hear leader or even the term CEO, as much as we desire that in our in our entrepreneurial business, and in our lives, there's still a piece of us that are afraid of that, because it's like, well, if I'm a leader or CEO, I have to manage people, and there's so much productivity I have to do and there's so many expectations upon myself, and I have to do doo doo doo doo. And so this is why I'm in love with bringing leadership forward again, because I'm, I feel like becoming iconic and myself. We're shifting the paradigm. We're introducing a new form of leadership, one that we can all embrace and sort of run towards with wide-open arms, like, Yes, this is exactly how I want to be. This is exactly how I want to behave. And it is so much about the being than it is the doing. That's the new shift. Yeah, there is doing though, and I've watched this pendulum swing, and it's been a really interesting thing to observe. And it irks me a little bit of I can say that I come from this masculine hustle culture, and I was really good in that culture. You told me to get something done, it got done and it got done really well. And in a really effective timeframe. Like it was I was a very good doer, and I still am. And what happened was there was a lot of people in that masculine that felt really uncomfortable. They felt disconnected. They were exhausted, burnt out, overwhelmed in guilt all the time about I should be and I should be doing parent I bet are apparent I should be doing more of my business. And all of this led to such a frenzy. And what we did is swung the pendulum way over into this feminine energetic, which I love and adore. But what happened there is now we have people who are like, I'm just gonna, like, have no schedule and let my day unfold as it will and, and, you know, they're taking this extreme. And what we're finding now is it's, it's, it's really creating almost like an illusion. i Why can't we be both. And as a matter of fact, I believe we're supposed to be both. And when we marry those two energetics, we marry the masculine of doing, and productivity and strategy alongside of receiving and being in that feminine, like romance and vibe, that's when someone is this exceptional leader, that's when we can't take our eyes off of you, because you figured it out. It's not one or the other, it's the best of both worlds and bringing those worlds together.

Kathryn Thompson  16:01

I absolutely love that you touched on this because I 100% agree with a swing to the like, total feminine of like, I'm just gonna, you know, wake up and see where my day goes. And all those sorts of things. And it is an illusion, I think we've sold hustle, right? There's leaders out there that have so you just got to hustle Gary Vaynerchuk, right is like you just got to do and do and do and do. And now you've got leaders selling the feminine of like, oh, like I can work an hour a day and, you know, make millions of dollars, and this is how it is. And I feel like that illusion is getting people who are burnt out and tired of the masculine buying into that. And then getting in it and going this is really not how it is.

Jen Szpigiel 16:44

No, they're frustrated and disappointed. And they're negotiating their dreams and like in this dance of like, in and out and in and out. And I just wish people would understand it's not one or the other. Yeah. Why can't you have a beautiful I teach this all the time and the silk robe analogy, and it's what I do I I would wake up in this masculine. So this is what my wake up, I would be coming awake to the day and my head would go, Oh my gosh, got to get up, get the four kids ready for school, get it, edited it. And that was the the way I would greet every morning and I really disliked it. I was like, why can't I wake up and be like, Thank you, God for this new day. I am so excited for the day ahead. That's how I wanted to feel but it wasn't happening. And so I bought myself a silk robe, I thought what can I do to anchor myself into that feeling. And so now I still wake up, that still happens not as much and not as loud, but still there. So it's not again, it's not that these things go away. It's just you learn how to move through them in a more effective way. And so as I walk to my bathroom, and I take my robe off the hook, and I put this silk on my skin, something happens. And when you walk to the kitchen and your silk robe is kind of floating behind you as you and you almost tippy-toe, it's a different walk. It's not like this, boom, boom, boom, it's this tippy-toe because you've got silk gone. And you pour your perfect cup of coffee and you sit down and light a candle and think about what you want to do in that day. What are your intentions? What do you want to create? How do you want to be then move from that feminine piece into Okay, let's get this task list done. Let's get these things you know really accomplished and accomplished well, and then move into that feminine again when your family comes home of putting on music and making a great meal and observing and actually living in your life.

Kathryn Thompson  18:43

Live Yeah,

Jen Szpigiel 18:45

it's a different existence. And once you have that there you cannot it's actually I would believe impossible for me to go back I don't even know I would have to force it and I wouldn't even know if I could do it forcing it's it's a new existence that is just absolutely breathtaking.

Kathryn Thompson  19:02

Yeah. And I again I so agree with you because I I really excelled in the hustle culture, the doing the doing and then hit massive burnout, owning our custom winery here locally, which we've now sold. And I've totally changed my existence. You know, I have like my morning cup of coffee, I ease into my day. And people kind of laugh at me because they're off running to you know, their corporate jobs or whatever. And they're like, What do you do all day and I'm like, Well, I work but I I've set my day very intentionally. And I and I don't have the stamina to even go back to that. Like I try to think about how I existed in that world to how I exist now and it's so I just can't go there like you said it almost feels impossible. There are moments where I feel like I'm getting like spinning a bit right like that hustle like Go-Go and then I'm like oh, I can't go there like it you know where I used to be able to push through for weeks, months. You On end where I'm just, you know, driving ahead, and now it's just like it just doesn't, I just can't I don't have the stamina to do it. So, in terms of personal power, what does not having personal power look like? versus what is like really grounded in personal power look like

Jen Szpigiel 20:21

personal power when we're not in personal power? Let's start there. Yeah. It looks like a performative persona to me, and I was a professional performer for most of my life, I believe a lot of us share this, whether we want to admit it, or we acknowledge it or not, we're taught at a very young age to be tidy, and only speak when being spoken to, and, you know, be the good girl and your marks matter in school. And so that was how I learned to be that I would perform and do these things. And when I did these things, I was accepted. And because I wasn't tapped in the way I wish I had been, there's so much self forgiveness through this journey. But because I wasn't so tapped in, and I wasn't in my personal power that just led into my young adult life. Where I remember my first marriage, he wanted to have children, it's like, I should have children because he wants to have children. Like I didn't make any decisions and choices based on what was right and correct for me, or at least sit with myself for a moment and say, Does this feel right and correct for you, it was always this performance. And that is not in your personal power, that is really giving all of your power over to everything outside of yourself, and lead into really needing and the word need is appropriate here, needing people to validate me, like, tell me, I'm a great coach, tell me I'm doing a great job. Tell me you love me. Show me like there was so much of me craving that validation. Because I wasn't in myself, I wasn't receiving that for myself. So that's what it looks like to me, is performative, and a lot of outward validation necessary in order to feel powerful. Now to be in your personal power. This is an interesting conversation and something I've been like dissecting a little bit recently is why as women's especially, do we feel like the word power is something that we don't want to have in body or be. And I believe it's because we believe power means that we are more powerful then, like, if I'm in my personal power, I'm more powerful than you and I am bigger than you. And that idea of us being boastful is something we just as women were, this is a great quality of us. We don't really desire that. We love relationship. We love compassion, we love to love. And so of course, we're not going to appreciate that that feeling of power, but what personal power is to me, is honoring myself, completely tapped into myself and actual self actualization, actual self actualization, that's a tongue twister, but totally, you know, really finding yourself because that is what I believe the world is searching for. We always see what's your purpose? What's your purpose, find your purpose, find your purpose? Well, I just spoiler alert, every one of us have a shared purpose. It's the same, it's coming home to ourselves, discovering who we really are, honoring who we really are, and having the audacity to show up in the world as we really are. Because that's vulnerable. If I'm going to be my personal power and say, This is what I believe leadership is, and someone comes at me and says, Well, I don't believe that it's not that or Barbara Barbara, if I'm not in my personal power. If I'm not willing to be seen, then I'm never going to have my message heard. And if the message is heard, and that happens, I'm able to receive that with love and understanding. It doesn't pierce me. Instead, it's like, okay, let's have a conversation. If the conversation isn't kind, then let's not have a conversation. But you move through your world through your days differently. You have this unshakable confidence in the decisions you're making in the discernments, you have meaning does this work for me? Does this not work for me? Do I like the way I'm being spoken to you? Do I not like the way I've spoken to that's personal power. That to me, is the ultimate?

Kathryn Thompson  24:26

Yeah. And do you feel like obviously, you know, if you're not in your personal power, and you've got people coming at you, like, for example, you know, me going into a launch and my launch integrator and people being like, are you actually doing this? If I'm not in my personal power, the outside opinions can really shake you and start to get you second-guessing, any decision that you're making, right? But the whole validation piece, I think is really neat as well, because I think that social media is created to I thrive off of that, right? It's like the likes, the comments, the engagement, all of that. And I know it's one thing I work so closely with my clients on, like, Screw that, like, what do you want to create? What type of content do you want to put out into the world? What type of coaching programs or clients do you want to work with? Start there, then go out and create the content, but who cares about the likes, it's like, if I put it out there, and I don't get the likes, or the comments, or I don't get people buy or as many people buying, then it means that I'm not good at what I'm doing. You know, or needing that validation to carry on or to continue doing the thing that, you know, you really want to do.

Jen Szpigiel 25:41

Yeah. Can I tell the story that just recently, yeah, it's gonna so support that thought. So I recently had my social media hacked and disabled, gone and have 1000s of followers. Wow, 16 years of my life. I mean, my life I posted every day, not because I have to, because I genuinely love to. And so that was a huge awakening. But the way it has strengthened me and heightened me is unbelievable, because here's the thing. Yeah. 10s of 1000s of followers for people who are not in their personal power would think, Oh, they just hand their money over sometimes to people just because of the followers. They think that equals authority, that equals experience that equals success. They must know something I don't. And I have to be honest, as much as I would say, I didn't believe that. It showed its face to me when I lost it. I was like, what are people gonna think? Yeah, who's gonna come to my Instagram now with under 1000 followers and think Jen knows what she's talking about? How, how am I going to build my authority again? And do I want like it was a messy mess. Yeah. But now, here's the coolest thing that came on the other side of this, let's cross that bridge. I have a lineup for private coaching. And I've generally had a waitlist. But this is like a lineup now. Because you know what they see, they see me leading my social media not being in my social media and my social media, not leading me where it's like that frantic energy, if I must get on my stories got to do my post, what's my hashtag? Will all this stuff that ultimately doesn't matter? It's like, what value are you giving? What's your character? How do you make people feel? What do you have to say? And do you believe in what you have to say? Do I feel that energetically, the energy of what we put out in the world matters more than the frequency and matters more than likes and comments, because people will feel it. And it's the most interesting thing to separate yourself. And I believe there's a shift in the paradigm for social media as well, where even Instagram and Facebook the algorithm, it's shifting, because it's saying, We don't care anymore, you have a million followers, we care that you are in this with us and on this platform to serve and give value. And when we see that, we're gonna push the content. So my the algorithm actually works. The algorithm is working for me right now. And I've had several, quote-unquote, influencers reach out to me, because they've watched what's happened. They said, I'm actually going to shut down my Instagram and start all over because I am seeing what's going on here. And there's life back in to what you're doing. And I think I want that too.

Kathryn Thompson  28:23

Yeah. And it's interesting, because I've also seen and heard in the mastermind group that I'm in lots of women with over 10k followers, and they're thinking the same thing as they pivot their business and change and really go after what they want. They're like, do I start up brand new Facebook, or Instagram account? And what will that do? And all of those sorts of things. And it's interesting, because I posted a real like, a couple weeks ago, actually have a post queued up about this, but somebody had posted like, minutes after I had posted it. And he's like, nobody's even liked your posts. Like, why should anyone listen, you know? And I was triggered, but not for the reasons I think people think I could care less what the person said, like, that didn't bother me. Four years ago, when I first got in the online space. Yeah, it would have stung. But this Now it didn't. And the reason I got triggered was because I was like, I want people to stop buying into the belief that you need all of these followers and all this likes to show any ounce of credibility or authority because like you said, it is how you make someone feel it's how you're leading how you're showing up. And anytime I review, copy somebody copy that they send it to me to review and whatever, I almost instantaneously I'm like, when did you write that? Like, when did you write the first three things? And when did you write the last because I can feel energetically? Which posts are going to resonate with your people because there's a feeling behind it. It doesn't feel forced. It doesn't feel like I got to write this because I need to like post every day or whatever it was, like legit feeling behind it. And so, I love that you share that Because I want, I want to be part of that shift, I know you're being part of that shift to like, really show people that it's, you know, the legs, the followers, all of that is just really vanity metrics. And it, it doesn't mean anything, as much as how you're showing up and how you're leading, and how you're making people feel. Yeah.

Jen Szpigiel 30:20

Yeah, we're living in a world in a culture that is addicted to bigness, like, it's horrible. It's, it's disturbing a little bit to be honest, if we can just be honest about it, yeah, rattles me, it hurts my heart, the bigness of how many followers the bigness of proclaiming your income constantly and like that defines you, the bigness of you, the yachts and the private jets. And it's not to downplay any of those things. Because if that's what you desire, you want a private jet experience, I will cheer you on the loudest to create that and go do that and have that experience in your life. But what's happening is we are in this, it's almost like an in North America, let's just say North America, we're creating this, like the wealthy, and then the not wealthy. We're almost eliminating the middle class and how we are perceiving things meaning that there's this huge gap that people are feeling it's not enough. Like, oh, I'm my own, I can't tell you many times people come to me, they say, Well, I'm, I'm only making like, $2,000 a month. And I just want to say pardon. Like, you're only making $2,000 a month. When was that? Not enough? When was 10 followers 10 people who chose to follow and be a part of the community that was a conscientious decision? When did that not become enough? When was it that you had to have 10k months in order to finally feel successful. So if that's what you have to have to feel successful, it means building up to 10k the whole time, it's just not even fun. No success, no celebration, no gratitude in that. I wonder what we're doing sometimes. And why we feel like that middle part, the growth, the most juicy, gorgeous part of a journey, we feel like we have to either eliminate it or shove it down, dim it down. Because it's not valuable. I I don't know. I just don't want to participate in that anymore. I really don't.

Kathryn Thompson  32:22

Yeah, you know, the chase has. And the achievement of it, right is like, when you get to the height of that achievement, whatever it is 10k months, 50k months, whatever you're striving for yacht, whatever. I think there's two, I think there's two topics here to dive into. Because I think there's that chase that need for achievement to get to the top of the mountain and say, Look, I have 10k followers or whatever it is. But I also think there's an illusion being portrayed. Because I think there is that whole essence of showcasing what we're making and how you know how many clients I have and all this stuff, for the illusion of look at how awesome I am, and how I can help you and all these sorts of things. And it's almost a selling feature, did a post on this a month, months ago of like, stop selling your lifestyle, if you're only showcasing a glimpse of that perfect lifestyle, that curated lifestyle, because entrepreneurship is not all private jets and roses and butterflies and all the things and so I want to be part of the conversation of showing all sides and all facets of entrepreneurship and life. Like the real part of it, not just the fact that I flew first class to Dubai or whatever, right? Like I want everybody to see the ups and downs. And I had a client recently say, feels like you always have things figured out. And it was assigned to me a mere being shown that I need to talk more about even more about all of the layers there that I have going on in business because I never want people to think that I have it all figured out. You know?

Jen Szpigiel 34:03

Yeah. Right. And that's a big message of mine, too, that I talk about is the manipulation behind a lot of what we're doing. Yeah. And here's the thing we could go down a slippery slope of like really, almost judging it. And that's one thing I have to catch myself on, because then I can go down that rabbit hole of like, why are we doing this? And we shouldn't be doing this. And I think to myself, Okay, so we're kind of like tying it back to leadership. Yeah, I can't necessarily change how they're showing up in the world and choosing to run their business. And I certainly can't go to their community and say, hey, you know, this isn't the whole picture, nor do I want to do that. Yeah. So what can I do? Well, what I can do is step into my personal power and actually show up the way I would love to see the world and the way I would love leadership to be shown, and it holds me highly accountable to being integral and real. and vulnerable. Because here's the thing here is another. I don't know, maybe this will not be motivating, but I hope it is. Even when you hit 100k months, I remember stabilizing 100k months and just being like, wow. And then I remember hitting 100k a week, and mean like, wow, I didn't even I couldn't even fathom that that was possible. 100k a month was big enough, nevermind a week. But here's the thing, just like a $2,000 month or $2,000 week, it's always the next thing. And it's like, Well, should we go over $200,000 month, and then we're gonna go for million dollar month. I mean, there's always going to be the next thing. So it doesn't mean the more you have, the more successful you necessarily feel. It's how are you now? And what is like, your gratitude practice? How obsessively grateful Are you for this day, for the lessons you're learning for the clients, you already have the people who are already following you on social media for the vision that you're carrying? Like, I'm so grateful for what I can see. And I know I can do this. I mean, I think we keep coming back to this same subject of like, celebrating the in-between celebrating the journey, and leading that as though you have 100k months, because that's just a matter of time. It's it's coming yet, who are you going to be today that can invite that in?

Kathryn Thompson  36:22

Yeah. And, and to? Are those the things you really desire? Are you just chasing it for the sake of having that number, that achievement, that whatever. And there is, you know, the life is a journey? And if we're not enjoying the journey itself? What do we what do we? what's the end game of life? Right? It's death. Right? Like, what? Why not enjoy the journey? Because the end part of that is death. And so in business is same thing is like, what are and the juicy parts is the building the growth, the creative, right? So it's like you get to the mountaintop. And then what's next? You know, it's always that next thing, right? And we never take a minute to like, stop and show gratitude and show gratitude to even the people, like you said, that are investing in you. And I loved you talked about judgment for us. Because I think, yeah, you can go one of two ways there you can really judge the industry that you're in. And I've watched people in marketing, do that. I've watched my peers, literally revamp their whole business, and you can feel it energetically, the message that starts to come out is very judgmental. And I know that at one point, I was like, Can I be in marketing and communications? Because there's so much about it that I want to change, especially in the online space. And that's when I was like I made the conscious decision. No, I want to be part of the change. Right? And so I'm going to show up, I'm going to share my message the way that I do. And I'm going to lead in that capacity and have a hand in changing it and changing what we're doing. Because the judgment is, I think, a very lonely road. Just sitting in judgment.

Jen Szpigiel 38:08

Yes, it is. And none of us want to be judged either. So you're just you're doing so I want to applaud you You're doing such a great job in that because my mentor Robin Sharma, yeah, he said something recently that was like who? It really got me curious and thinking and contemplating. And he said, Why are we so invested in legacy, because he even wrote books about this, like legacy. He goes, where he goes, and one of my favorite books of his who is going to cry when you die. And he said, you're dead. So what people think of you after you go doesn't matter, because it doesn't matter. They can think of you whatever they want. So isn't legacy. In fact, how we're living today isn't legacy, in fact, about really soaking in like squeezing out every last drop of our lifetime here. That's actually legacy, but so many of us are focused on, I want to leave this legacy won't matter. Yeah, it won't matter. Because you're not here to enjoy it. And what people think of you doesn't matter, ultimately. And so what if we paid more attention to how people perceive us or feel around us today? And living and becoming iconic? Like living in that? Hmm, The Good, the Bad, the Ugly, the Great, the celebration, the champagne, that everything? Yeah, and knowing that this is the perfect, perfect way of being and there's nothing more required. It's just more if you want more,

Kathryn Thompson  39:37

yeah. And squeezing out every ounce of it, right, like living your life and just and, and doing the work that you ultimately love to do. But yeah, it's that and I still resonate with the legacy piece too. And I think that that's, I mean, it's such great insight from your mentor because I think, yeah, like what you know, what are we building and you know, it's funny because my friend Parents, my mom specifically used to always say like, you can't take the money with you when you die. So it's like you're gonna make all this money? And then what? Like, what are you doing with it? You know, like, you can't take it with you to the afterlife. And so spend it. Yeah, live it.

Jen Szpigiel 40:17

And we think, for my children, this is another whole subject we could probably jam out on. And yeah, I'll keep it tight. But we do it like, well, I want to leave money for my children. I want to leave a legacy for my children while they're here doing their own thing building their own legacy. So why did we feel like it's our responsibility to do that for them? Isn't our responsibility to show them a beautiful example. And for them to witness their mom or their dad? Living full out failing, picking themselves up? You know, working through things being tenacious, being kind being generous? That's, I believe the best thing we could leave our children. Yeah, fortune. I mean, do that. It's great. I mean, amazing. Again, I'm not saying these things are not important. I'm just saying, How are we looking at this? And how much importance are we putting upon this thing that we can't even enjoy? Yeah, like build memories. Now spend the money now go on the trip. Now. Do the things now. Now. Now now? Because tomorrow's not really a promise. Is it?

Kathryn Thompson  41:25

No. And that's such a beautiful, beautiful way to look at it. Because it's so true, right? Is like yeah, if you want to leave your kids money, go for it, you know, and you want to create the fortune and the wealth and all of that, go for it. But are you actually living and part of like living right now and enjoying it? Because that personal power really comes back to whether you're doing the things that you want to do? You're saying yes to things you want to do and no to things you don't want to do and not living the shoulds? Right, I should do this? I should do this. Or I should? Yeah. Fly on the private jet. Or I should you know, I should do it, because it's going to make me look good. You know, instead of do I actually really want this? Yeah, yeah, I'm selfish.

Jen Szpigiel 42:08

Like, I want to go on the trips with my kids. I want them to spend the money with me, right? Like, I want to do those things and see those things through their precious eyes. And it's such a gift to be able to build businesses alongside of being a mom and there's so much to hold in that there's a lot of responsibility, but again, in our personal power, we remember we get to, I get to right now get off recording a podcast and make dinner for my children. I get to go and take my daughter horseback riding night and then come home and take my son to hockey I get to build this business while they're at school. I get to take a day off because one of them is sick at home. Like these are not half twos. These are things I get to do. And I I feel like that is also an empowering piece of watch your words. Yeah, like I have to take my son to hockey tonight is very different than I get to take my son to hockey tonight.

Kathryn Thompson  43:00

Yeah, so and exactly that right words carry such a powerful weight. And sometimes we don't even realize it right? And what we're saying or what we're doing. So is there anything else you'd love to share with our listeners that we might not have covered here today?

Jen Szpigiel 43:17

We I feel like recovered so much. I know really good conversation, if I do say so ourselves, right? Yeah, it was good. Um, I think I would love to say just a little bit of inspiration and motivation and give a little gentle nudge to any of you who are in contemplation or negotiation, meaning, you're hearing the hum, you're hearing the whisper, but you're leaning more into like the signs of why you shouldn't. First of all, the God I know the universe I know is not waiting for you to fail and giving you signs of things you shouldn't do. They're constantly nudging you towards things you should do and get to enjoy and to see your potential. So why don't we turn our attention on to our personal power? And like you just said, saying yes more to the things that light us up and make each day beautiful. I mean, we get to curate art. This is a masterpiece we're building through our lives. So why don't we pay attention to that versus all the reasons we shouldn't? There'll be a million reasons why you shouldn't Yeah, you'll find a million of them. You only ever need one, one big one one that makes your heart swell to move forward and focus more on that then you do all the other things that really don't matter at the end of the day.

Kathryn Thompson  44:31

Yeah, so beautiful and 100% agree with that and it's been such a pleasure chatting with you today. I know we dive down a lot of different paths there and I and I love it the conversation was so great. Where can people find you online or connect with you if they want to?

Jen Szpigiel 44:47

Thank you for asking. Becoming iconic. It's really easy. Go to the website becoming iconic it is dot CO (.co) or on Instagram becoming iconic. I really do pour myself out over on Instagram and I'm rebuilding so you get to sort of witness that witness somebody building down from the ground up again. And I do love sharing and becoming iconic the masterclass it's a top-rated business and life podcast that I feel is my it's my passion. So I'd love people to come over and hang out there if they feel called to.

Kathryn Thompson  45:21

Brilliant and we'll link all of those up in the show notes so that everybody has quick access to them but yeah, it's been such a pleasure connecting with you and chatting with you and I know our listeners are going to love this.

Jen Szpigiel 45:31

Yeah, thank you so much.