How to Relaunch in Business to Reach Your Highest Potential with Hilary DeCesare

Kathryn Thompson  00:00

Hey, hey, Katherine here, I'm so glad you're tuning in. If you're new to the show, welcome, welcome. I'm super stoked that you're here. If you've been around for a bit, you know, I'm all about keeping it real with you, showing you all sides of entrepreneurship and life. I mean, it's all connected, right. And for those of you that connect with me in the DMS, send me emails and let me know your biggest aha is your takeaways and how much each episode is meaning to you. This means the world to me, it just shows me that the content that I'm putting out is resonating, the guests I'm having on the show, you know, are connecting with you and where you're at. And for those of you that have been connecting with me in the DMS and the emails, I'm seeing a bit of a theme or a pattern lately, and that is this itch, or this desire or this inner knowing that you're meant for a hell of a lot more than maybe what your current reality is looking like. And for some of you, you've expressed, wanting to take a drastic change and completely change what you're doing. And completely pivot in maybe your life or your business. And for others, it's just this, you know, this desire to do more, or to be more, or to create more of a change in the world. And I so get that. But what I feel like often times is we don't talk about what that expansion or that change or that complete pivot requires. 

It takes a lot of courage to expand into a higher potential, it takes a lot of courage to get more visible, takes a lot of courage to completely shift maybe careers or business path or whatever it might be, you know, I ditched a 15-year corporate career, and nobody told me how hard it would be. How difficult it would be to literally share the identity that I had been living for 15 years, right, that corporate identity. There's a part of me that identity that died when I ditched my career and opened my brick-and-mortar business. And I've since gone on to sell that business. So I call myself the queen of pivots. I call myself, you know, the queen of making quick changes in life and business. But I rarely talk about the courage it takes to do that. And I kind of forget sometimes the courage and so I'm really excited to have this particular guest on the show today because she's talking about how to relaunch with grace to reach your highest potential whatever that might be. 

Her name is Hillary to Cesar and she's an award-winning entrepreneur, a transformational neuro-certified coach CEO of the relaunch Co. She's a featured speaker in Silicon Valley and at conferences nationwide, as well as a relentless Philanthropist as seen on the hit ABC show secret millionaire. And she's on a mission she's made it her commitment to helping women fire up possibilities midlife taking a time, most try to bypass and instead turn it into a time to focus on inspiring business ventures have clarity in relationships, and instill how you are ultimately the creator of your purpose aligned lifestyle and the life that you live. Hillary is so aligned with what I do. She recently also published a book called relaunch spark your heart to ignite your life. And I'm just so stoked to have her on the show to share with you how to relaunch even if you feel like you've hit midlife and you're like Am I too old to make a drastic change? Am I too old to reinvent myself? Hillary is going to tell you absolutely not and I cannot wait. 

So without further ado, let's welcome Hillary to the show. Cheers.

Kathryn Thompson  00:00

are here and then we can, hey, hey, I am super stoked to have Hillary on the show today, I know you are going to give our listeners a lot of useful and really amazing information on how to sort of pivot, change directions, do what you want to do follow and pursue your dreams. So without further ado, I'm just going to turn it over to you so that you can tell our listeners who you are and what you do.

Hilary DeCesare 00:25

Ah, that's awesome. And as I like to say, it's really a relaunch, right? Totally given my company as the relaunch cow, given on the relaunch coach, I think that we're gonna stick with that. But yes, a lot, a lot of things going on in the world, everyone is in some way, shape, or form going through a relaunch personally, globally, so much is happening in the world. And right now people are trying to figure out how you actually do it and have some type of positive outcome, right? I mean, think about doing a relaunch, and you're not, you know, the end result is not what you ultimately wanted, you're like, Okay, well, that really, you know, that really wasn't that great. So I like to make sure that if people are going to put their mind to something, and they want change, they want to have a new version of identity for themselves, they want to have a new lifestyle of success for themselves. I like to guide people I was about to say lead, but it's not lead, it's guide them to open up their own channels to give them the ability no matter where you are. And yes, I've worked in the corporate world at a fortune 100 company, Oracle for almost 10 years, I've launched many companies, I've been coaching for over 20 years in the Silicon Valley. And, you know, there's something that I know to be true after working with 1000s of people. And that is the bottom line. And I love how you say it is that we are people we are wanting to improve ourselves, or we wouldn't be listening to your show. Thank you so much, Kathryn, for putting this on. And let's, let's figure out, you know, we're all you know, every day that goes by, we're getting older, and we want to make sure that we're maximizing our time, nobody wants to sit back and say, Yeah, that was a big waste. That was two years of a waste of my time. Let's start over, you know, looking back, gosh, I wasted a whole lot of money, their whole lot of time, a whole lot of energy. I mean, that's just like, spins my head when I hear things like that. It's like, you know, what, you've got three things that are the most important in your life. And it's, you know, your time, your energy, and really your decisions that you're trying to make regarding your time and your energy, right?

Kathryn Thompson  03:05

Totally, totally. And why do you feel like people don't make the pivot or are scared of the pivot, or, you know, I love how you say relaunch, because oftentimes people can think of like, it's starting over, or I'm like, leaving the thing I've built for however many years if you're in corporate for 20 years and decide to come in a ditch that it's like, you don't want to feel like you're starting over everything you've done as a waste. But why do you feel like people are maybe don't have the courage or bravery to actually make that big relaunch, or pivot?

Hilary DeCesare 03:39

As you know, I think it stems and I can say this with assurance, the assuredness of around it is that people are in fear. And there's so much fear going on right now. And we're, you know, where does fear actually come from what is fear? Fear is something that is in the future that you're worried about, that hasn't taken place, the right hasn't taken place yet, yet you are worried about it. You're doubting you're in fear. And so when you think about that, and we all have, when we're young, we have these visions of where we're going to be at the age we're at right now. And if you are not in that, that Nirvana spot where you're like you're hitting, you're hitting where you wanted to be in relationships, you're hitting where you want it to be in your own life, you're not hitting it in your business, then all of a sudden, we have this fear that we failed ourself in some way or another and here's the greatest part about that is that you may not even know that this is happening, but it's happening behind the scenes and I call them bugs, beliefs underground surfacing. In these, you know, beliefs, you have empowering beliefs, and you have these negative little pesky beliefs, these bugs, and I help people uncover the root of what's really, truly holding you back. And it's usually, it's usually not what you think it is, that's like, the most interesting part of this is that you can be like, Well, I've been really, you know, going deep in myself, and I often say social media, they want you to, you know, be visible, get out there, do you know everything you can, you know, show up every day. And my philosophy is this, you got to be invisible before you can be visible and make an impact. And that starts with getting at your bugs, getting out of them, realizing that they are actually what are keeping you from where you ultimately want to be, and feel like at this point you'd like to be.

Kathryn Thompson  06:06

I love that whole analogy. You've got to be invisible before you can be visible. And I recorded a podcast last week that dropped today. And it was all around like the inspirational funk because I get so many people that come to me and they're like, I'm in this funk. And I feel like I have to show up all the time. And if I'm not showing up, I'm losing momentum and clients and all those sorts of things do. Yeah. And I'm just like, well, first of all, as creators, as entrepreneurs, we're creative people, otherwise we wouldn't be doing this work. And to believe that we have to be high vibe and inspired all the time. It's such a limiting belief, in my opinion, because even the greatest creators, musicians, writers, right, like they'll go through these sorts of funks. And so I love that analogy. Can we dive a little bit into like, what that means about being invisible before you can be visible and what you actually mean by

Hilary DeCesare 06:59

that. Okay, so Katherine, yes, I have a book. I love finally, I submitted last Friday. And I am still buzzing with the fact that this thing took 14 Almost 14 months to really like get out there. And I go deep into it in the book, and it's gonna be it's the name is relaunch spark your heart to ignite your life. And where it came from takes me to the invisible. So can I tell you a very, alright, so we have a cabin, and it's a cabin that's been in the family for 85 years. It's up in the Sierras in California. And my grandparents built it with their own hands. My dad learned how to walk up there. I learned how to walk up there. It's a summer cabin. And every summer, we as a family would go up there and we would open up the cabin, it would only be really useful, you know, used for three months. And this about three years ago, my brother, my only brother, my only sibling, my son, my dad and my stepmom went up to open it and my daughter's I couldn't go my daughter's couldn't go it's just one of those like weird situations where we all didn't go. So they get up there. It's pouring rain and the lake is called Silver Lake. So just imagine in your mind silver popping off of you know, rocks and gorgeous and all this but this day, it was raining and it was cold. And there is no you know, this is no electricity. It's all gas. And so they walk into the cabin. And it usually has a pungent smell of gas, like kind of that like winter like errored out. But this time, there was something a little bit more about it. So they opened the doors. But again, it was raining, it was cold. Everyone's like oh my gosh, we didn't plan for this type of weather. And my dad goes to light the stove and it's a gas stove and it kind of bursts up about 12 inches. He's like whoa, and at that point, everybody has right you know where they're all right in the little teeny kitchen you can imagine teeny, teeny, barely fit all of them. And there was this huge rumbling underneath the cabin. And the crazy part is that it is on granite rock. So to have this thing rumble rumble rumble, my brother looks at my dad and normally we are very much like let's get this job done. We're you know, finishing this we're not leaving until it's done. You know kind of that you know all for one one for all let's do this. Let's do that. And my brother said, you know, I just have this like gut feeling like I think we should come back next week. Let's bring someone who really knows what's going on. And my dad who is the Do not leave something until it is you know a lot 100% finished, said, You know what? I think you're right. So they get in the car, everyone gets in the car and they're driving down the hill and a big fire truck whizzes by. And my dad looks at my brother and says, I think we need to go back. And by the time they pulled up, it was one to two minutes of watching it completely burn to the ground.

Hilary DeCesare 10:30

And so it had blown up. And thankfully, because we live in a very, very dry, dry forest, it was pouring rain, right? Or the whole forest would have been gone. But here's the thing. I got the call. And my brother said, Hey, Hill, Silver's gone. And I remember saying, you know, what, what do you mean, Silver's gone, like, what does that even mean? And he said, it literally blew up. And we were out of the house by not even 10 to 15 minutes when it happened. And I all of a sudden, I mean, it was one of those sliding glass door moments, I had the visions of everything our family had done in this cabin, I had had the vision of my family, right, my closest family members, they're standing there rumbling and then leaving and having it blow up. And this whole thought of what really is the most important, is it the visible of having the cabin? Or is it the invisible of the memories that we are going to remember and that we are going to create in the future? And it's kind of like this, this circular like almost this, this vortex that I was in trying to figure out like, what does this all mean? So we went to work trying to rebuild this cabin. And it was an absolute bear. Because when they built it, as I said 85 years ago, very, very different than now there's the yellow-spotted frog, there's the, you know, the forest or there are all these people that do not want you to build anymore. Yeah, we finally got it built. It was built four days before my big, big birthday, one of these milestone birthdays. And I had 4030 people, plus, you know, a few extras about 40 people total at this event sitting on this new porch, thinking about it at that point being very visible. And the crazy thing is that not even four days after we got back from this big birthday, I got a call from my mom, and my mom, my grandma, my great grandmother, everyone in our family lives into the hundreds, every single person, everyone so for me my identity is around. Heck, you know, at that point, and I'm 50 I'm gonna live to 100 I'm only halfway done. You know, I'm like, Who? And my mom says Hillary, I've got really bad news. I like what she said. I have stage four colon cancer. 

Hi, Mike. What? You just walked around seven miles around Silver Lake during my birthday, what are you talking about. And again, it was this moment of invisible to visible to invisible. And living with this. And I this is when I started to write the book is right after she passed, she passed 14 months later. Wow. And it was one of those moments where I was holding her hand as she passed through that Invisible Veil. It was such an incredible experience. But when I started to really become aware of people coming to me, talking about their transitions, wanting to have transformations around some of the most impactful things that you've ever been through that they've been through, I realize that so many of us are, you know, putting this completely false facade out there, that it's not who we are. It's not what we are. It's not how we want to be perceived. It's this fictitious state as something that is visible, but it's so far from who you really are. So when I started to look at it and I thought you know, when have the most incredible things in my life happened. It's when it was these like incredible moments in time that I could then remember in this invisible state, and I'm like that how do you help yourself like when you lose a parent when you lose a child when you lose? You know, you're you're going down a battle of your own health you lose your company or you have these impactful moments of relaunches in your life. It's not about going outside of you. It is 100% going inside of you that matters.

Kathryn Thompson  14:56

Yeah, such a beautiful story and it's so true. because I feel like you know, so much of the work that I do with people is to really help them peel back the layers so that they can articulate who they truly are and be the fullest expression of who they are in their marketing and sales, right and not be not over glamorize what they're doing or not putting on this facade or wearing the masks or being over performative. Because they feel like that's the way they need to be in order to sell what they're selling. And, and do that. And it's so true about that, sort of like the invisible piece. And I love the bit about your cabin, and how you're like, it was a cabin, and it blew up, but everybody, so many of my closest people were standing there right before it happened, and how, as entrepreneurs, we often attach ourselves to things that actually don't really matter, the money, the number of clients, you know, we make that the determinant of our success. And then we chase that, when really, it's the invisible stuff that really truly does matter.

Hilary DeCesare 15:58

And if you actually take that one step further, because yeah, I love what you just said, If you really think about money, and money being energy, which we hear all the time, energy is in the form of being invisible, but the presence is so visible under microscopes under you know, I mean, it's just what is visible, is what we perceive it to be with our sight. And you also talk about, you know, kind of this idea of when you get up and, you know, communication styles, and you know that you have less than seven seconds to make an impact. And if that if what you said really matters, it's kind of like, really, that these words are, are irrelevant. It's really how your body is putting it out how your energy is. And I love just this morning, I was doing a coaching session and the and the gal said, So, right now, I'm really feeling like, I'm almost embarrassed how much I've spent in my company. And I'm almost embarrassed by like, you know, even like sharing that I put so much in and there's nothing to gain. There's like I can't show anything for it. And come on everyone, we all we've all like, invested in that course we've done this, we've done that, and you're like, oh, and so I just you know, I said to her, I said, You know what? You're sitting here saying you've invested so much what have you invested in that has been that has made a difference that has, you know, been impactful for you. And, you know, she said the nicety of like, what, what I'd like her to say where I work, and then what really came out is that people want fast success. Yeah. And if you think about, again, having been doing this for so long, it's it's those anomalies that really make it in anything sooner than the three to five years. It takes a long time. And here's the best part.

When you think about those people out there like Marie Forleo like Gary Vander check. Oh gosh, Amy Porterfield all these like very impressive people they've been doing in more than 10 years. This is not like some you know, woohoo this thing just happened in follow me because you know, I get it you know, get in get into my you know, my peloton Get behind me let the wind blow you and carry you with me. They've worked hard, but we don't ever see somebody's you know, we think of that their end success should be our beginning success, right where we are right now. I want to be like them? Well, no joke we all do. But stay your course. And don't try to be like somebody else you need that as you know, marketing your unique selling proposition. What makes you different? You know, if you look at the coaches right now, I think that, you know, people are getting coaching certificates, and they're doing it, you know, in, in a two-day period, you know, even sometimes in hours, oh, I'm certified now. And, and I sit there and I say, you know, at some point, you want to be following someone who really has the chops who really understands what you know, what is going on how you're going to be able to do it, how you're gonna improve, but there also is an energy about the connections that you have with your clients, the connections that you're meaning and so when you sit there and you say your unique selling proposition and you're trying to be like somebody else, that's their energy. Totally want that. That's like not even your energy. You can't be that person. Yeah. Be your own. And that's why I say gosh, find your invisible like amazingness and then and then become like that superhero out there, you know, yeah, you're invisible, but only for a short amount of time.

Kathryn Thompson  20:11

Yeah. And that fast success. You know, I think that's probably the hardest adjustment I've had to make in the online space. Because I worked in corporate for 15 years, I ditched that I went into entrepreneurship. And I opened a wine business. And so I was producing and making wine for four and a half years and then a year. It's, it was awesome, but it was a lot of work. And, and, and the lifestyle of it was not aligned with what we wanted to live ultimately as why we sold it, but, but it gave me a lot of like lessons for sure. And I'm glad I learned, I stepped into that arena first in the brick and mortar offline space, because when I hit the online space, I was like, What's going on here? Like, what is this fast success, I've been working my whole life, and mastering my craft. And I entered the online space. And in coaching, I, I hear that a lot from my clients, too, is like, they're either guilty of the money they've put into invest in their learning and knowledge and mastery and all of that. Or they've been in business for six months. And they're like, why am I not making multiple six figures? And I'm just like, Well, have you been doing this for? Like, how many years? have you actually been doing it? And so I really appreciate that you said that, because I think there's a perspective there that everybody needs to have coming into business that there is a three to five year growth span, right? And probably sometimes beyond that. And with that,

Hilary DeCesare 21:44

without a doubt. Yeah. And you know, one thing that you did say that I think is so important is that you were able to take corporate experience, then your brick and mortar experience, and then leverage all the things that you've learned some of them you know, some of the things we have to realize is, you know, it takes time, it takes time to understand the foundational work, how many, how many times do I have people come to me and they're, oh, my God, I was killing it. I was already up to, you know, mid-six figures, and I haven't been doing it very long. And then things just like fell out, I can't quite figure it out. And my big thing is, let's talk about the foundation, what foundation Do you have that you can actually scale on what you're trying to do? Because fast success is actually sometimes more detrimental to your business than that slower, you know, steady or pace, where then you rocket ship. But you have the foundation set up. I mean, that's the key. And I look at now, when I first started working with anyone I say, in the third the entrepreneurs, I said are you what, what type of entrepreneur Are you? And they kind of look at me like what kind of entrepreneur I'm an entrepreneur, Hillary and I Okay, so if I were to say instead of entre Kenyatta just the printer, are you a solopreneur? Are you a soul? So you L printer? Are you a purpose printer? Are you what is it? Are you a creative partner, I like to be able to say, now, let's get really clear on that. Because if you fall in one of the buckets, and you haven't had the underlying experience, then you can be really good at the creative part. But you still have to understand how to run a business. And how many times do you know engineers come to me and they've got these great ideas, great companies, great everything, but they don't have a clue about running a business. Right?

Kathryn Thompson  23:51

Yeah. And you and we hear that I say this all the time to my clients. I'm like, You're the visionary of your business, like you are the creative visionary. So yes, I don't I don't doubt that you hate the details and having to like, dot your i's and cross your T and do your taxes and do all of the tech work and whatever it you know, like, I get it, right. So and in the early stages of business, outsourcing and hiring a big team or a team, in general, is likely not an option to kind of get the business off the ground and going and so it is that foundational work. That is so so needed. What do you feel like is you know, if somebody is wanting to make like relaunch or pivot or change course or direction, what would you say to them to kind of help them go in that direction or pursue that.

Hilary DeCesare 24:44

So I have a seven-step process. Yeah. And I actually if people are really interested in just hearing the detail, I have a radio show on voice America and it's called the relaunch love. And it was the episode that I did last week around, you know, Thursday, what is it like may 8 or May May 12. But I want you to be really thinking about first and foremost, the most important step is kind of that decision that you're going to not let the past hold you back, right? We often talk about victim versus Victor and a victim is looking at things in a very like, ah, that's, you know, it was them that blame that shame that I was a failure, that didn't work out. And I always love when you can start to feel and I call it the relaunch flip. When you take a time in your life, that is still you can feel it in your body, right that invisible, like that feeling is, you know, happening, whether it's in the neck, whether it's in your chest, whether it's in your stomach, whether it's in, you know, pointing your body, something is still holding you back, right? So when you can, you know, those big buttons that have the red reset button, think of it like magnetic reset button, that's what you're doing. You are literally at the point of establishing the fork in the ground, you're hitting that reset button, and you're saying you know what, the past is not going to define you any longer. And then there's a process to get you through. And many times many, many, many times in that very first one or two steps, it leads right back to your bug's to your beliefs underground surfacing if you're not able to get from high five figures to six figures, to mid six figures to seven figures. And there's always these gates that I find, you know, when I'm helping people along, that there's you know, the gate of you know, when you first get to the million, then the 2.5 million than the 10 million, there's the gate when you're first starting to get to six figures. I mean, there's all these gates. And so once you can say, all right, why isn't it working? Well, what's going through my mind, what am I really feeling and I have a process that ties into the seven steps to the relaunch effect. And it's very much written out in this book, I mentioned, rewind, and it's called Three HQ. And it's probably the thing that I'm most proud of, because it's come over 20 years of development and a whole lot of processes and just trying to really get through it.

But three HQ is really, you got to get out of your head, out of those bugs get out of your own way, head to the heart, to your why to understanding that your emotional baggage trauma is just that we've got to release it, we got to get rid of it, how do you do it? How do you do it in a way that you know, is authentic to you. And then you go head to the heart to the higher self. And that's your greater, you know, that's the greatest self that your higher self is where you tap into what I think is the most incredible tool for business and life that we all have, which is our intuition. And when you put all three of these in alignment, that's when you can start to harness and leverage your intuition. And just like a muscle, you got to build it up. Because for so many of us, we're like, ah, not listening to that. No, don't like it don't know what that is. I've listened before, and it didn't work out. For me. My intuition is really not right. And that's not the case, it's always your interpretation of what happened was mistaken. And so once you can get back to harnessing your intuition, taking the steps to leverage it, that's when your business starts to just take off and you can manifest I call it you know, your your manifestation magnet, it's when what you're putting out there, it just is like, it just draws into it. You know, it's like, okay, now I want this for my business. And this is what, this is what starts to happen when you use the three HQ in all areas of your life.

Kathryn Thompson  29:11

Yeah, so beautiful. Because I think another thing a misconception that a lot of entrepreneurs have, I think, especially in the online space is that, you know, at some point when you hit that six figures, or multiple six or seven, seven figures, you know, or multiple millions, and is that they have it all figured out, but at each level, there's a new gait or bugs that you're going to deal with every time you uplevel there's more things that you have to deal with. And so I love that you touch on that because again, I have a lot of clients that are always like, well, I felt like I dealt with that or now I'm dealing with this thing and like does it ever end and it's always sort of a work in progress.

Hilary DeCesare 29:53

You know what, you just nailed it. This is not something that I call it hell in the hallway. Yeah, and you just keep closing the doors, just keep shutting those doors don't Don't you know, don't let that out Good grief, we don't open that door, because who knows what's behind that one? Yeah. And here's what happens, you can close the door, those bugs will go under the door, they'll go out the little keyhole, they'll eventually come out. And as much willpower as you think you have, I've been studying neuroscience for 10 years, I have a degree in psychology, I've always been fascinated with this, those bugs will always come out unless you work on actually blasting, I'm actually getting ready becoming the Ghostbuster of your own beliefs of your own, you know, bugs, you have to take ownership of these because just as you know, a lot of times people say, I really want to, you know, I'm just gonna will myself, I really want to have a really amazing relationship. I'm gonna, you know, put everything out there, I'm going to elevate myself. And then you're across from this incredible person, and you say something, and you're like, what, like, who said that? Right? Are you do something in your business? And you're like, what was the dumbest thing I could have done? What the heck was my thinking? Those are bugs. Those are, are your subconscious brain trying to keep you safe and familiar in your comfort zone, it does not want you to move ahead, it doesn't want you to have any more success than you've already had. And so it will continue. It's like when you go to bed at night, and you're in the kitchen, and you have like a little piece of a muffin or something on your countertop. And you're like, I'll take care of that tomorrow morning. And then in the morning, you see, like millions of ants in your like, I should have dealt with that last night. 

You know, you just it's one of those that you have to be aware that your bugs will roar their ugly heads when you're actually starting to do really well. Because that's when your subconscious says, Hey, you're doing really well, you might be able to handle something that is now not quite where it should be, you might be able to, you know, handle this repressed memory, you might be able to handle this trauma that you know, you thought, oh, yeah, I haven't thought about that in years. And then all of a sudden, you're in such a great place. You're like, everything's going fantastic. I've had two great quarters in a row. You know, my life. It's like, oh, I don't want to jinx it. How many times have I heard that? I don't want to jinx it. I don't want to really talk about it. Because things are so good. Yeah. And they're not, then something happens. You're like, what the heck? How did this happen?

Kathryn Thompson  32:44

Yeah, in the brick and mortar. I remember that was like, you know before you even open the doors, it's like, okay, is this going to work? Because it's going to be successful? Are we going to make sales, and it's that fear of like isn't going to work? And then when it starts to work, and you start seeing the sales roll in, then you're like, is it all going to go away? When's the floor gonna drop out? When's the shoe gonna drop? And I know that was my biggest thing was like, Okay. I could see the bugs coming out in that. For sure.

Hilary DeCesare 33:12

Katherine, and Katherine, that whole concept that you just said this? Oh, my gosh, it it ties right back to and I know, you've covered it so many times on your show, you know that your money stories? You know, who said what, when you were young? How you don't even think no, no, I've never even I've never thought about that. Like, I don't believe that. But guess what, we when we have a thought and an emotion that repeats over time. That's your belief system, whether you like it or not. That is how we are wired, and our belief maps to our identity. And so if you're, you know, cruising, cruising, everything is great. God I've just had, you know, everything is like I couldn't be any better. Let's celebrate. And then you celebrate instead, I never should have celebrated because now look what happened. Now, I threw it out there that I was you know, too. I was too confident. No, it has to do with your subconscious. It is always right there waiting, waiting to make sure that it is Wait a second. Katherine's doing too well, oh my gosh, she's going in that direction. She's Oh, she's really oh my god, she's just passed another gate. Let's bring her back. And that happens. And it happens in every area of our life. And so that's why I always say, let's start by being invisible. Let's take you back. Let's take you back to some of these, you know, uncomfortable conversations. Let's build the foundation. And people will say Well, Hillary, you know, I've got a seven-figure business. Why do I want to go backwards? Because again, you've built the foundation on sand. Yeah, and anything on sand. I grew up in LA earthquake, you know, sent And so when we built the house, when we built a house, we put like 30 foot rebars into the ground, you know, let's really make sure that you know, this can withstand any type of San Andreas earthquake like we are. And that's what we forget to do we forget that this is what is going on in your life. This is who you are. This is like, take it back through the decades, and see what, where and how these beliefs have played out. And you'll start to realize what, oh, my God didn't have a clue that Oh, whoa, wait goes way back.

Kathryn Thompson  35:41

Yeah, and I love that you say, you know, I have a seven figure business? And why do I need to even look at the foundation. And I know this from experience of building the brick and mortar wasn't sustainable. The foundation that we had built, the more we scaled, the more work we had to put in, or the more money we had to pour out to people to produce the wine for us. And it was like, How is like, so the more was like, This is not a great foundation that we are on? And how do we reduce costs and increase profits and all of that without, you know, pouring money into hiring and training staff, it just was not a sustainable business model. Even though financially, we were selling, selling, selling, selling, selling, you know, and but yet, it still was not a very sturdy business model Foundation. And so I love that you say that, because I think that a lot of people that I coach, build that business on hustle and grit. And then they end they're successful at it, but it's not sustainable. And then they get to six figures, multiple six figures, seven figures, and they're like, this sucks. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm burnt out.

Hilary DeCesare 36:47

Yeah, is this really what I am working this hard to not bring home any profits? My net profits are like, I can't tell you. This is where when you start to compare yourself, and you start to look at others, and you're like, Oh, God, it just coming, it's coming so easy for them, you have no idea how many people have built these facades up. And it's like a movie. Like a Universal Studios, right? In Los Angeles, where, you know, it looks all good as you're going down that fancy little street, and then you open up the door, and there's nothing behind it. That's what so many people have gone and done and but they still on the outside are sitting there like, Oh, look at what I've done and more, you know, more programs and more this and more that. But again, they keep going. And there will be that point where that, that you know that wall that that that facade, it breaks down, you can't sustain it, you're working so many hours. 

And you're it's not in alignment, you talk through HQ, that scenario in itself is, you know, so relevant, because you're not where you're Why is you're no longer like, you know, this idea of like, I want to, you know, help all these people and have them, you know, be able to live their, you know, greater lives, but yet, you're miserable. You can't pay the bills, you're trying to figure out, like, you know, how am I going to really keep this open? i How am I going to pay payroll, that's when you have to realize that, you know what, we got it, we got to take a step back, we gotta go, like I said, become invisible. So that then great. And how many people feel like, you know, they're frauds or they're, you know, they don't have the confidence to go out there because they don't have the necessary foundational experience in business. Right? And I'm not saying you have to have an MBA, I'm not saying you have to have you know that but you have to have core fundamental ideas around how do you increase business? How do you look at lead generation and marketing and sales and leadership? And time management and mindset, you know, 95% of everything is about how you come at it your mindset, if you don't have those core fundamentals, and I have this thing called sexy spreadsheets, because I figured, you know, what, who, who likes spreadsheets? I mean, unless you're in accounting, unless you're, you know, even like those people who come to me they're like, alright, seriously, so I call me sexy spreadsheets, because when you actually have a grasp of everything that you are tracking in your business, there is an empowering there is this like I'm a badass Chuck, I know my numbers. I know my KPIs, my key performance indicators. I know my business and when you can literally say honestly, to yourself, I know my business. 

I know strategically how I am going to get from A to Z of where I'm going thing, I call them these crazy goals is scary and crazy goals like planet skeezy is out there, and the relaunch rocket is gonna get you there. But guess what, you got to admit that you don't know everything you're gonna you should know at this point and that's okay. But don't try to avoid it, you avoid it, it will come back, it will absolutely bring you down. And at that point, you're, you're 10 steps further behind that ahead.

Kathryn Thompson  40:28

Totally. And the numbers piece is huge. And I know a lot of listeners are those creative visionaries, right? And so the details of the numbers and my father's in accounting, so I grew up with accounting in my life. Yeah, managing money and whatnot. But even me going into a brick and mortar, we were so bogged down with the day to day work that the numbers piece of it for about four to six months. And then we're like, Hey, we gotta get a grip on these numbers. Because you can't grow you can't measure right? And it's so true is that just knowing, knowing your numbers, and knowing the insights out of them is like a huge part of that foundation. And for the creative and visionary people out there. I know you're it's like cringy. But I love that you call it the sexy spreadsheets? Because yes, not many people like spreadsheets, or whatever, say that right? I actually just finished my taxes and sent it to my dad. And it's all in this beautiful spreadsheet. He'll be so proud of me because yeah, he's and they're usually

Hilary DeCesare 41:25

you're feeling a little sexy right now I get it.

Kathryn Thompson  41:28

Totally. And you can just see it at a glance. Right, you can see where, you know, obviously, where money is going out, money's coming in, right? Like how do you reduce costs, if you don't even know what you're spending every month, right? You have no, it is

Hilary DeCesare 41:39

so easy to keep spending. Totally just if I just do this, if I just do that, if I just hire this one more person, oh, he's, she's brilliant. This is going to be you know, and that's it, it never works out that way. If you are starting to all of a sudden feel like you're behind the eight ball, then trust me, when I say step away from the pool table, like just at this point, just take a step back and say you know what this is when I now need to start really focusing. And by the way, there is that empowering moment, there is the energy that literally switches for you. And that's the greatest part. Once you take back you know what, I'm not out of control. I'm in control. There is a shift that happens. And that's where the relaunch, you know, we talked about life now love now relaunch now. Right? It's like, you got to start living again. Being in your business and giving it you know that the hours upon hours, and not loving anything that you're doing, right? It's like it bottom line, it sucks. And so when you think about the words, these are not just words, like live this, and this is that live, now you've got to be living again. You've got to be like, You know what, I like life. And then you know, the concept of like, take be willing, be willing to be invisible.

Kathryn Thompson  43:15

Yeah, I love it. And we've talked about and covered so much. And I know the listeners are going to love this episode. Is there anything else you'd like to share before we wrap up?

Hilary DeCesare 43:26

You know what I would love to if you found the whole three HQ interesting and exciting. Please go to our website, the relaunch koat.com. And that's where you can follow us and get you know, I think the book comes out June that I think the ebook is starting out at 99 cents. So hey, no, everybody, no excuses. Come on. Let's all do this. Yeah. And yeah, so I would say you know that that is where, you know, I'd like to, I'd like to share that. It's, it's open for everybody. And that's the greatest part. So

Kathryn Thompson  44:06

awesome. And we'll definitely link that up in the show notes. And do you have a link for your book as well that we can link up in the show notes to? Or does that come available once it launches?

Hilary DeCesare 44:16

Well, actually that would be on you can join the waitlist, or on the www dot the relaunch co.com. And there's a waitlist right there to get every little bit of all the goodness all the freebies, all the different things that we're going to be offering a free workshop around three HQ. And to just go along and to make sure that people are really embracing this whole idea and leveraging your intuition. You know, how do you even begin to start to do that and we walk you through all of that. And what happens when you know some of these things, the relaunches come your way and how do you stay in that alignment so that you're not totally like crashing and burning You know, when you all of a sudden notice like, Oh my God, I've got it. I've got a bug. What do you do with all of that? It's all in the book. It's the exercises. And I've gone through the details of explaining, you know why this is so important.

Kathryn Thompson  45:14

Brilliant brands, we will Yeah, link all of that up in the show notes. And then for people to connect with you on social, where are you located on social media?

Hilary DeCesare 45:22

Instagram, and it's the relaunch co brilliant will also definitely and let me know when you're there. Say, Hey, I heard you three HQ. Yeah. Right, this is good. And then one other quick thing that I just wanted to say is that you know, where I came up with the three h Q, is that everyone has heard of IQ. It was a big thing in the 60s 70s and 80s. Right? How intelligent Are you? What problem solving you know, ways do you have and then in the 90s it became all about EQ and your emotional quotient and they ran in silos. And with today's world it's no longer a new normal it's a new different and the new different is a three HQ. It's individual first, and then it's about three HQ teams in your business.

Kathryn Thompson  46:11

Love it, love it. And thank you for sharing that little tidbit about it. Because yeah, I was forgot to completely ask you about what the ref like why you came up with it and how you came up with it. So awesome. It's been such a pleasure chatting with you today. And I know we our listeners are gonna love this one.

Hilary DeCesare 46:27

So thank you, Katherine, thank you so much for having me on.

Kathryn Thompson  46:31

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Kathryn Thompson  00:00

Okay, if this podcast resonated with you and you're like, Heck yes, Catherine, I am so ready to relaunch to go after the thing that I want to expand my reality to my highest potential and to maybe even completely pivot what I've been doing in life and business. I would love for you to shoot me a DM and let me know what that big audacious vision or mission is and what you're going after. I love connecting with you guys in the DM. So I would love to hear from you. Now on to episode number 56. We have another special guest on of course as always, and I feel like we're on a bit of a book theme here. But Jamie wolf, the owner of a million-dollar story agency and best-selling author is coming on to share how to publish a USA Today best-selling book that generates high-ticket clients without even knowing how to write. She's an amazing author. She's an amazing business owner and I cannot wait for you guys to hear what she has to say. So be sure to tune in to next week's episode. If you want to know and learn how to publish your own best-selling book. Be sure to subscribe to the show so you don't miss it. Cheers

Jamie Wolf, Million Dollar Story Agency, bestselling author, shares How to Publish a USA Today/WSJ Bestselling Book That Generated High Ticket Clients Without Even Knowing How to Write.