Building From Your Design: Getting Clear on What Matters Before You Build [Episode 2 of 4]

Intro/Outro: [00:00:00] After generating over a million dollars in sales and selling one of her businesses with a single email, your host Kathryn Thompson, takes an unconventional approach to marketing and sales. So if you are ready to tap into a more powerful way to be seen, heard, and a Sought after Entrepreneur in your industry without having to spend endless hours marketing your business and chasing clients, you are in the right place.

Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast is here to help you ditch the cookie cutter one size fits all approach to marketing, and use your unique energy to effortlessly attract the most aligned clients. When you do this, you can spend less time marketing your business and more time doing your soul work and enjoying the richness of your life.

Welcome to Be The Sought After Entrepreneur Podcast, and here's your host, Kathryn Thompson. 

Kathryn Thompson: Hey. Hey, super stoked that you're tuning this week's episode, and I cannot wait to dive in today's [00:01:00] topic because we are elaborating on last week's episode. Now, if you haven't listened to last week's, week's episode, I highly suggest that you do because this week's episode is probably not gonna make sense.

To you if you haven't listened to that. It's about 20 ish minutes, 25 minutes might be 30 minutes. Um, but I promise you that you need that first step of this process in order for this week's episode to make sense. And what we're doing here over the. Next coming weeks is I'm really outlining the process that I would take if I was pivoting my business or evolving my business in some way, and or I was starting something new and from scratch to ensure that I was building the foundation that was in alignment to the success that I actually wanted to experience.

So just as a quick Kohl's notes last week, we dove into. The type of success that you've created and how [00:02:00] you've done it and why it has worked for you, and also dove into some of the limiting beliefs around why you don't believe that that success is. Applicable to what you're wanting to create now, and I asked you to sit with it.

The other thing I'm gonna preface is, is that if you are looking for a quick fi fix, you want me to just tell you the answers, you don't really want to go deep, then these, this series isn't gonna be for you. And probably a lot of the stuff that I put out there isn't gonna be for you because I'm not gonna tell you what you should do.

And I'm not gonna tell you and prescribed you a protocol on marketing and sales and business. 'cause I don't know your business. And so it would be out of integrity for me to tell you that you need to do X, Y, and Z, and this is how you'll create success. Because how I create success and marketing that works for me likely won't work for you in the same way and or it might work.

But then you've built success on a foundation that isn't in alignment and that [00:03:00] success is one of the hardest to sort of unravel. So now that you have that list or that document. Of all the ways you've created success and also all of the limiting beliefs or doubts or fears that have come up as a result of you identifying those.

Success keys or codes or however you want to call them, and you believing that it's not applicable in this new direction. I want us to sort of sit with that. We're gonna build off of that. What I want you to do now is I want you to do the same sort of exercise, whether that's the journal, whether that's voice noting.

Again, I'll link up whisper flow here for you if you want to add this key to your computer where you can just quickly record things. If verbal recording is. Easier for you. Easier, or if you feel like you can channel better, which a lot of you will. What I want you to do now is I want you to communicate, [00:04:00] channel, write down what you want your success to feel like.

What matters to you most about. Creating the success, and I don't want you to just look at things like freedom or autonomy to do the work that I want or meaningful work. I want us to get a lot more nuanced than that, which is why I think a lot of values work or understanding what we really value or what's in alignment to us is again, sort of just surface level and it doesn't really get to the crux of.

Why these things matter to you. So freedom for me could be very different to you and what freedom is, right? Like autonomy to work or meaningful work could look very different than my meaningful work. Neither is right or wrong, but it's just what's in alignment [00:05:00] for you. And so I want to get to the crux of that.

So if you know freedom is something, then I want you to get really clear on why. Is it freedom to like go to the coffee shop in the middle of the day? Is it freedom to pick your kids up? Is it freedom to go to all your kids' sports stuff? Is it freedom to travel whenever you want? Like whatever that might be.

But really what I want you to identify first and foremost is how do I want to feel within my business? How do I want feel within it? And if you're at a pivot point, there's likely some resistance to how you're feeling right now. So you probably have an idea, right? How do I want to feel in my business?

And then what matters to me? What's really, really important? And there's three things that are often the most important when doing sort of this work. The first one is expression, like how we be in the world. And that's not just in relation to the work, right? So that could be, I want to be a really [00:06:00] present parent.

Or I want to be a really present partner, or I want to be there for my family when they need it, if they're aging right. It could be that, and it could be very personal and or it could be the expression of the work that you're doing. So I don't want us to compartmentalize. This because again, I think this is where we go sideways when we're com, when we're thinking about values work or what matters or why are we doing this work in the first place, right?

Like Simon Sinek talks about. Understanding your why and I think it's beautiful and a beautiful exercise, but oftentimes we compartmentalize our work and or what we're doing for work. 'cause that's just how we're conditioned. I go to a job, right? Most of us have been conditioned to go to some form of job at some point, and then now we're sort of breaking free from that kind of conditioning.

And to me, it's all in one. That's what makes people, in my opinion. Happy [00:07:00] people, right? The planet would be a lot happier if we spent time doing this and not compartmentalized it in what we do for a living, wrapping our identity up in, in what we do, right? It's who we want to be, and that's the expression part of this, number one, right?

Who do I want to be in this world? How do I want to be within my business and within the work that I'm expressing? And if that's not in alignment. Then that is going to be very, very difficult, very difficult for you on your path, and you might be feeling this in your business right now and or in where you're at in your journey.

So the expression piece, how do I want to be in that business? How do I want to express myself? What is the work that I want to put out there? And time time's another one, right? How do I want to spend my time on earth? And or right now in this moment [00:08:00] for some of us, that far reaching thing, if you're, um, like me in a lot of ways, that 10 year plan or like where do you wanna be in 10 years is a really hard question for me to answer.

And so it's like, how do I wanna spend my time right now in this season of life that I'm in? And that might be six and 12 months, right? So. You don't have to do a 10 year plan. You don't have to do a five year plan. You don't have to. You could, in the season of life you're in right now, knowing that that season might change.

And then money. What do I want to earn? What do I want to receive for what I'm putting out there? And. This for many people will be different and it will totally depend on your circumstances, where you're at and all of that and where, how you feel safe with money in general. And what's really important about this exercise, going through the expression, going through time and going through the money piece of it is, is that a lot of messaging out there is like how to make 10 k or how to have 70 [00:09:00] 5K months or how to have a hundred K months, which great, fine, it's great to have goals.

If we're chasing a number because we think we should chase the number because we think it's some sort of validation of success in business, but it's not even a number that we want to be chasing in the first place, but that's all we see advertised. Again, we're outsourcing all of that internal needs, wants, desires to some outside prescribed protocol that people say is the way to scale your business.

Right. For some of us. Making five to 10 KA month in our business and getting to work at home and have the freedom to work for ourselves is all we really desire. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. For many of us, we don't want to build the empire. We have no desire for it, and that's perfectly okay.

Perfectly. Okay. Now what I [00:10:00] wanna preface here is, is that a lot of this values work and a lot of the why work for many of us. Can feel elusive, can feel like, I don't know. Right? When somebody says to me, what do you want in the next five to 10 years, I look at them blankly and I go, I have no clue. I don't know.

Right now I know what I want, but in six months from now it might change and in 10 months it might change, and that's how I'm wired. The other part of it is, is asking questions. Well, how much money do you want to make? I dunno. Right. So some of us don't know a definitive number because it's not really about that.

It's about all of the other factors. So. What I'm going to ask you to do the exercise for this week is if this feels elusive to you, which for many of you it will, for many of you, you either need to experience it, right? We need to actually walk the path [00:11:00] and experience it. That's exactly how I am. I need to walk the path of trying on the different hats in order to see what works for me.

Many of us are designed as. Experiential beings, we're here to experience the world and so when we, when we sit in isolation in our house, and you listen to me asking you these questions. You can go through the exercise, you can answer them. If, if things come up for you and you're very certain on it, definitely record it.

But I wouldn't be surprised if many of you're sitting here going, I'm just writing something down to do the exercise because I'm a good student and I want to follow the process. That's not what I want you to do with this. What I want you to do with this is use these things as a guide, and that what I want you to do is.

Go out and experience things 'cause many of us are designed to respond. So in the next [00:12:00] week, I want you to go and experience different. Brands, businesses. It doesn't have to be a business that's gonna be like yours. It could be you go to a restaurant, you sit down and you know what you love about the experience.

Maybe the ambiance, maybe the lighting. Maybe it was the people were really friendly. Maybe the food was super fricking delicious. I want you to go and live life and experience things because that's the only way that you're going to be able to tap into what it is that you actually truly want.

Particularly around the expression piece, who do I want to be? You might be more clear on that to be honest, but many of you might not be. But I want you to start with what's important for you. But then I want you to go experience other people's expression, and I want you to be in relation with other people's expression or other businesses' expression.

For example, I remember ordering this beautiful bath box. [00:13:00] Right. It was a beautiful bath box. I love baths for any of you that don't know. So when I think about living my life, I love the experience of a bath. I love good food, good eats, good wine, good people, good conversation. Like that's what makes me come alive.

And so. I couldn't sit in my house and go through Simon, Simon Sinek's, like understanding your why exercises, and I couldn't go through, you know, what are my values and come up with some artificial words that really had. No actual meaning, like what does freedom mean Most times in our exercises of values, it's like, pick the word creativity, innovation, freedom.

What does that actually even mean? Right? It means nothing to me. I had to go out and experience it in order to get a really good sense of what is in alignment for me. So I want you to go out and experience it, and [00:14:00] I want you to go out and live. And I want you to go out and observe, right? There's brands, there's people that you resonate with.

If you're listening to this, you likely resonate with me for some reason. Why? What is it about what I say? What is it about? How I be? What is it about how I show up? What is it? Because usually within that, there's evidence. It's not about emulating, it's not about copying. It's not about outsourcing your authority.

We're naturally drawn to things for a reason. We're naturally drawn to things for a reason. And when we're drawn to things, we've gotta get curious about why we're drawn to it. 'cause those all have breadcrumbs around what we wanna earn, how we want to be in the world, the time we wanna spend. Like where are you spending your time?

What are you spending your time learning? What are you spending your time digesting and consuming? And [00:15:00] again, if it's doom scrolling, that's not this, but I had a call with a client recently and she said, Catherine, do you know that my husband and I play video games like a lot and we spend a lot of our time playing video games?

And I was like, cool. What's wrong with that? And she said, well, I don't know. I just, we just spend a lot of time doing it. And I said, well, to me, when you tell me that, this is what this tells me about who you are. One, you're very creative. You love gamification. You love games. You love alternate realities.

You love imagination, right? In order to create a game like Disneyland or a video game, do you know how much imagination and creativity goes into that? To be able to experience that and to be able to be brought into that world of whatever game it is, Mario Brothers, Zelda, whatever it is, right. Minecraft, I don't know.

Right. It's like be, and I'm not that person. [00:16:00] Right. I, I have no desire to sit and play video games, but I love learning about astrology, human design, Jean keys, personal development, spirituality, like I love learning about other people. I love like the intricacies of what makes us, us. I love psychology. I love depth psychology, right?

So I'm like, huh, what does that tell me about where I spend my time and what's valuable to me? So for her, what's really wild is then I did a reading with her, which is why astrology is so beautiful when you first get to know somebody. Because when I did the reading, it was right there in her chart and her chart looks very different to my chart, which makes sense.

But if I said to her, Hey, you need to get more deep with your con content and you need to show more thought leadership stuff, and you need to write it in this way. Sure. If she wanted to outsource her authority, she would do it because she'd be like, well, Catherine knows. She knows how to do marketing and sales.

But the reality [00:17:00] is that's not the world she's creating within her brand. It's not the world that she's creating. The world that she's creating is around imagination and creativity and creative self-expression, and creating an experience for people that feels like an experience. A lot of brands don't do that.

A lot of personal brands don't create that experience. It's more info learning and knowledge based. And the work that she's being called to do is, is, is deeper than that. And so this is what I'm asking you to do, is to go out and experience the world. But also start to identify how you want to be in the world.

The time, the time you wanna spend on things. What do you wanna spend your time on? What's important to you? And you're gonna get a really good sense of where you're currently spending your time. And then what do you want? How do you want, what do you wanna receive as payment, as an exchange of the [00:18:00] value that you bring?

And not some arbitrary thing, but like what is what, what feels really good from a worth place? You know, if I spend an hour doing an astrology reading, I'll feel really good if I'm able to receive this in payment. If I do marketing strategy, I'll feel really good to, to achieve this in payment because it's gonna allow me to live the lifestyle I want.

It's gonna allow me to not sacrifice parts of who I am. Where I see a lot of people go sideways is, is that they undercharge, and then what's really valuable to them is freedom. But freedom because they wanna spend time with kids and family and whatever. And now they're working themselves to the bone because in order to actually reach that financial threshold in their business, in order to experience the freedom they have to work all these crazy hours.

That's not what we want to do here. So another example, just give another example, is I have a lot of people that come to me and they're like, [00:19:00] Catherine, I want to, you know, create a membership. And I'm like, memberships are great. For mass appeal, like in order to make a $7 membership, a $20 membership, a $97 membership, actually be profitable, it takes a lot of people to sign up for that.

That's just basic math, right? And again, spiritual bypassing will say, well, it's in alignment to me. I want to be accessible and like, don't tell me what I can't do, da, da, da. It's just, it's factual. It's not, it's not that it's not possible. It's just if you have zero people in your audience right now, or you have a hundred people in your audience, you're gonna need a hell of a lot more people.

And what's gonna be required is you building a brand and being very visible and building that brand. And then someone goes, well, I don't wanna spend my time doing that. I wanna spend my time turning out content. Well, then there's a misalignment in congruency. Right? So that's what I'm asking you to get clear on.[00:20:00] 

So, so the three pillars are expression, how do you want to be time, where do you wanna be spending your time? And see what do you wanna re receive in order to be able to fulfill the time and expression piece. So that's, those are the three. And I also want you to go out then and experience things through the lens of that.

Through the lens of expression, what brands, what businesses, what people are you naturally attracted to and drawn to, and what is it about them that you are, because it's, that's their expression. That's the piece that's going to give you the insight of your own desires and wants, and maybe it's. What you don't resonate with about them, which is totally cool, right?

What might trigger you about something that they've done or said or whatever. Then the time pieces is like, where are you spending most of your time [00:21:00] and what are you spending most of your time on? That will give you insight into where your interest lies. And if you think gaming is outside of the box of that, I want you to write everything down.

So over the next week, take a log of your days. Literally go. I spent, you know, the first three hours of my day in personal development, I spent the next three hours of my day playing video games or whatever it is, right? Or I spent, you know, the vast majority of my time with my kids. Okay. What is it about that time that's important to you?

Well, then we have to craft a business that's going to allow you to maintain that enjoyment and fulfillment. Otherwise, you're not gonna be satisfied in your business. And then what do I want to receive and what do I need to receive in order to have my expression and time be sustainable? And that is basic mathematics.

So again, spiritual bypassing is gonna convince you that it's not [00:22:00] right. Anything's possible. I can just sit on my laurels if I just wish it and I, it's gonna come true. Total spiritual bypassing. There are factual numbers that have to work in order for you to be able to achieve the expression piece and the time piece.

So I'm not saying that you can't build a membership. Again, what's the time that's gonna be required to build that in order to get to a point where you are able to spend all your time with your kids? What needs to be sacrificed? These are the things that you need to do in order to really lay a foundation that's in alignment with who you are.

So. I hope this one has given you the insight. I cannot wait again to hear what is coming up for you. Please share in the dms. Please email me. I've loved hearing from last episode what was coming up for you in terms of success and also the limiting [00:23:00] beliefs around that. And then next week we're gonna dive into resistance again around.

This vision of yours that you're wanting to create, because really bringing this stuff into fruition is really blocked by a lot of our own beliefs and conditioning. So we're gonna dive into that next week. Cheers. 

Intro/Outro: Thanks for listening. We'll see you right back here next time. You can also find us on social media at creatively owned and online@creativelyowned.com.

Until next time, keep showing up as your authentic self.